So I've Been Baking. And Learning!

So...I've been baking. Isn't there a line in My So-Called Life that sounds like that? Something like "So...I've been hanging out with Rayanne Graff." I dunno, I'll let you know when I figure it out. I know, it's important to me too.

Anyhow, I've been baking. I feel like, even though I'm sort of a half-assed cook, I can bake really well. Plus, it's winter and it's cold out, and this'll warm you right up. And baking makes me so, so happy! I like to wear this one apron my mother brought me from Herrods and put my hair up and listen to Pandora. Today it was a Sleigh Bells station, but most often it's a station based off of Regulate by Warren G. It really sets the mood, you know? Plus, baking is educational. You get to learn how ingredients react with one another, and sometimes you have to do math if you change the recipe - so much learning! Anyhow, here's what I've been making!

These are white chocolate-blackberry-almond bars. I definitely got the recipe from the back of a white chocolate chips package, thanks for asking. It was one of those days where I wanted to use up some ingredients I'd had around for awhile; white chocolate chips (which, by the way, are amazing), sliced almonds which I toasted in the toaster oven, and an old jar of blackberry jam. The recipe called for raspberry, but blackberry worked really well.

It's a simple crust with a layer of jam. I know, I know, only one layer of jam?! But that's what the recipe said. Sorry, dudes. This was delicious.
What I learned: Keep track of how long you toast the almonds in the toaster oven because it goes fast and you'll probably burn the entire first batch and your kitchen will smell funny.

These are pumpkin muffins with a streusel topping. Making the streusel was fun and reminded me of making blueberry muffins with my mother when I was younger. But to be honest, I overcooked the muffins and they were sort of dry. Not my best work.

But very good-looking, eh? Now there's a good-looking muffin!
What I learned: Do not overbake. It's gross. And especially because this cute and charming young man tried one of these, and although he was kind and said they were good, I felt he didn't get to experience my finest work. So much pressure when people are so handsome!

On the big snow day last week, I made another kind of muffin: zucchini-bran-chocolate. I watched the baking time carefully on this one and they turned out so much better!

Want to know a secret about these? They make you poop. I gave everybody at work fair warning. Yeah, that was fun to say to my boss. Whoops a daisy!

I use chocolate chunks because they don't get ridiculously melty, but they melt just enough. These are delicious, and I like the way the green looks.

Second whoops a daisy: I was really spacey that day and forgot to cut the recipe in half. I gave away a billion of them and ate some and took many to work, and I still had to freeze some.
What I learned: It's funny to talk about poop at work, but mostly people act like adults about it. Except for me. I giggle a lot.

Today I decided to try a recipe I got from the mom of some of my students. She'd given me this frosted banana cookie the last time I was at her house, so I asked her for the recipe. I'd never made frosting before, so that was cool. Well, I guess I should say "frosting" because I think it's a little busted up.

Here's the banana cookie. Tons of banana flavor. The flavor comes from the bananas I added. How bout that!

This time I actually cut down the recipe by a third, so I don't have a zillion cookies. It's still probably too many, though, seeing as I like the baking process more than I like the eating sweet things process. So, come over if you want. I have cookies.

The recipe said to frost the cookies while they were still warm, but I think I was supposed to make the frosting way in advance and let that set for awhile. Well, I didn't. So the frosting got all melty and poured all over everything. See? Busted up.

Oh, and the other busted up part was that I didn't have any heavy cream, which was one of the frosting ingredients, but on the "internet" it said you could mix together butter and milk as a substitute. Here's how that looked - lovely, I know:

Whoops, back to the delicious, frosted cookie! On a cute plate. To get that milk-butter image out of your head. Sorry about that.
What I learned: Don't do all that busted up stuff. Or do it. Whatever. It all tastes fine in the end.

Wooo, baking! If you ever want some, come on over! I'm good at sharing baked goods. Just not sandwiches. Don't ask me to share my sandwich, okay?

Last thing! I'm trying to memorize all the countries of the world right now. I think I have at least 180 out of 195. So, there you go, more learning!

Poomageddon!!!

List of Things I Will Do If There is a Snow Day This Week:

• Go through my drawer full of tights and get rid of some. Specifically some of the ones I've had since high school.
• Laundry. Bored.
• Listen to Metallica.
• Try out the ole donut maker.
• Bake zucchini/bran/chocolate muffins.
• Think about what "Fourth Wave Feminist" might mean some day.
• Listen to people talk about "Snowpacalypse" and "Snowmageddon," and replace "snow" with words like "poo," "fart," and "boob." Sorry Mom, but it's true. This is how I am.
• Write a blog entry (ooh, done!).
• Shovel snow. Or, failing that, watch Xiao shovel snow from inside my apartment.
• Shovel the lanai. Or, failing that, ignore it.
• Watch two episodes of The Cosby Show. Although we're moving into the Cousin Pam years, so it's possible I'll replace Cosby with Roseanne. Or just look up clips on the youtube.
• Read the Huffington Post a lot.
• Spend some time on sites such as This is Photobomb, Totally Looks Like, Sexy People, When Parents Text, and Awkward Family Photos.
• Wear this one pair of weird, baggy-ish leggings and a cami with ripped lace along the bottom. Maybe fleece socks, maybe a hoodie. Total sexy times.

Sounds good, eh? What will you be doing if you're stuck at home?

P.S. Even if there isn't a snow day, I'll try me best to do a lot of these things. Because they sound pretty awesome, I think.

Snow Day and Hummus

It snowed last night. It snowed about seven inches, which, in the big picture, is not that much considering some of the days we had last year and what Minnesota got today. I do tend to get overwhelmed by the snow, but I do my best to calm the hell down and not to freak out all the time. Sometimes the Crazy Lady comes out, but I think it's probably entertaining to some of you, especially my sister, so I'm okay with it.

My friend Lacy says that living in Wisconsin and getting through the winters probably makes us hearty. I love that. I'm sure that all the shoveling and pushing cars and trudging through knee-deep snow would help to build muscle and strengthen something. I don't know; your core? Your spirit? Something. Unfortunately, I had almost none of that today. My new downstairs neighbors are big proponents of "throwing money at the problem" and thusly hired somebody to come plow our long-ass driveway. I mean, it's really long. You know what? I am fine with this. That's totally cool; I'll just stay inside whilst somebody else does the work. No problem. As I waited for the four stout men to show up and plow, I thought I'd make some hummus. So many people ask for the recipe, and although I can't give measurements (seriously, it's all just adding stuff until it tastes good), I can provide some pretty pictures of the process!

Here are the basic ingredients: canned chick peas, tahini, garlic, lemon juice, and salt. Some people use dried chick peas, but you have to soak those overnight, and then you have to plan ahead and lately, I can't plan beyond the next half hour, so canned it is! You can buy tahini anywhere - it's basically a sesame seed paste (my dad uses it like peanut butter!). The garlic, as my dear friend Jess pointed out, should probably be fresh, not jarred like this. But I was snowed in, man, and I had zero fresh garlic. Anyhow, the ingredients:

You should probably get a Magic Bullet if you want to make hummus quickly and with little clean up. Food processors and blenders work just fine, but the Magic Bullet has a much better infomercial, I'd be willing to bet. Have you seen it? I love it so much. I've seen it at the very least 50 times. You should definitely watch it. Oh hey, here it is!
Part Two is here. "Dinna's always a production!" says the young actress dressed as an old lady with fake cigarette ash. "Yuck, I hate broccoli!" Grown ass man...But I digress. Back to the hummus! Drain the juice from the chick peas, but keep it somewhere - you'll use it later.

Dump in some tahini. I'm so bad at estimating, or guesstimating, if you will (do you know "guesstimating" is a word? Spell check didn't even underline it! Wow), but I think it's somewhere between 3-5 tablespoons.

Throw in the lemon juice, some garlic, and some salt. I can't give measurements because I think it all depends on how garlicky you want it, how salty, etc. You can probably add your own spices at this point too (a lot of people like cumin), but it's really good this way, with nothing else added!

This is the hummus when it's basically done. I put it through the ole Bullet for quite awhile to make it as smooth as possible. At this point in the process, I also pour in the liquid from the canned chick peas little by little to help moisten it. You don't want to put in too much as it will get too watery. So be patient. And use discretion.

When you're done with all this, put it in a tupperware and refrigerate it for awhile before eating. So delicious!

Wonderfully enough, by the time I finished making hummus, the men from Mr. Plow had come. I mean, I assume every plow company is called Mr. Plow. Or the Plow King. Either way. Look what they did to the front porch!

And look at this beautiful long and sort of snow-free driveway! That driveway is seriously long. There was a good 5-6 feet behind where I was standing, and the driveway goes all the way back to those faraway trees, and then to the right and behind the house. So much to shovel...

I was in heaven when I saw this. It only took me about 20-25 minutes to dig out my car and shovel around it. This, compared to hours otherwise. Wooo! All of a sudden, I don't mind snow so much!

To celebrate a successful snow day, I had some booze with some cute star-shaped ice cubes. I'd been talking to my sister on the phone when she mentioned that she'd had a few tiny wine glasses of sweet vermouth this evening. This is something we always used to do when we'd go to Jiddu's (my grandfather) house on Christmas, before going to the big family dinner. It's customary to visit everybody in their own homes around the holidays. We'd go to his house and sit for awhile, eating candies and potato chips out of small glass bowls, and eventually, somebody would bring out a tray of these tiny wine glasses with sweet vermouth in them. Delicious! Cheers abu cheers, Jiddu!

Okay, to be honest, I didn't have any sweet vermouth. This is actually Amaretto; it was the closest I could get! Still delicious. And I have no idea how this got in my house. Who bought this?

Amaretto makes pretty pictures. Jess, did you bring this over last Nude Years? Thanks for the pretty booze.
One last thing about the snow day: boots everywhere. There are four pair of black boots sitting inside my front door. Four. Ridiculous.

You know what? Snow days make me feel disjointed. There ya go.

Daffodils

February 23rd is a special day this year. It's the first day I buy daffodils. Daffodils have been my favorite flower since I was 7 or 8, I think. In my adult life, I have grown to appreciate others, namely irises, red & yellow (together) tulips, amaryllises, among others. But daffodils will always be in my top five.

Although I live in Wisconsin and the winters are long and usually stretch into late March/early April, the small pot of daffodils in my living room is a little reminder that there is an end to the cold and snow. It can't last forever; daffodils need to grow.

I open the blinds at night before I go to sleep so the flowers can see the sun, which rises hours and hours before I do.


And the next morning, they're almost all open.


They look like sharp baby birds


I love that I can look back at my blog entries from just about a year ago and see such similar and beautiful things that were in my life. In fact, when I listed my favorite flowers a second ago, I hadn't yet looked at these pictures. But in glancing through my blog entries and pictures, I found...

The irises

The charming cousin of the daffodil?

The red and yellow tulips

The amaryllis

And my lovely daffodils.

Surviving the Wisconnie Winters

Oh, Wisconnie. You and your winters. You really don't give us a break, do you? Here we are, today, the first day of winter, and already we've been through several snowstorms and winter storm warnings. 10 plus inches of snow on Friday, another snow day a week and a half before, and plenty in between. Seriously, Wisconnie, give it a rest.

Although I complain a lot about it all, and sometimes feel a little crazy and like I've lost part of my mind, I do take comfort in the fact that, at least, I've learned how to deal with it. Yesterday we got another 4 or so inches of snow, and today the temperature is -5 degrees. Not the windchill; that's somewhere between -25 and -30. This is the actual temperature, in fahrenheit. I think that would be something like -20 centigrade. I knew at some point that I'd have to go dig my car out and maybe shovel the sidewalk in order to be a good neighbor. So, I thought I'd give you all a little "How To" on staying warm and looking glamorous, all whilst doing something productive.

As a precursor to these pictures, I must state that I am officially throwing any ounce of vanity I ever had out the window. Instead of being horrified about posting pictures of myself in long underwears all over the internet, I'm having a little giggle about it and thinking more so of the comedic value. This is my Christmas gift to all of you. Enjoy:

How to Survive a Wisconsin Winter
1.) Tie your hair back in a ponytail. You won't have time for any nonsense once you're out in the tundra.


2.) Wear an undershirt. Yes, plain white works well, but I prefer the more festive magenta with polka dots.


3.) Put on your first layer of socks. These ones in particular are black wool with light blue snowflakes all over them. Highly recommended.


4.) Put on your second layer of socks. Those would be my brother Emil's old soccer socks. They come out about three times a year, especially for this occasion. These are great because they fit over the first giant pair of socks, and they go up to your knees.


Also, they're obviously very sexy, especially layered over the green long underwears. Uh oh! Things are starting to look a bit lumpy! Like I said earlier, totally glamorous.


5.) Put on your top long underwears. This is probably the point of me throwing the ole vanity out the window. An entire suit of long underwears. Ugh...


6.) Apply arm warmers, to keep your wrists warm. These are valuable wrists I've got here, folks. Gotta keep them warm.


7.) Add an additional top and bottom layer. Those are regular blue jeans on the bottom, found at many clothing stores. Let me know if you have trouble finding them. On top is another long underwear shirt, this one slightly cuter. I may have lost some of my dignity with this blog, but I still want to wear a cute shirt once in awhile.


8.) Put on a scarf and a hat. My suggestion for these is that there be no holes in the scarf or hat. Yes, it may be a little dorky to wear a Nightmare Before Xmas hat, but it's warm. Suck it up. Make sure the scarf covers your ears and entire neck in the back. Go around your neck twice with it, then tie in a tight knot in front. This specific application helps to make sure you drool all over the inside of your scarf whilst outside...classy, as always!


9.) Next, you'll want to put on your boots. Not the cute boots you bought from the big Boot Sale the other day - these are the waterproof, sort of ugly, practical boots you keep in the back of your closet. Put these on. Struggle to get them to zip up over your numerous socks. Pants get tucked in.


10.) Look for every glove you own. Use the stretchy cheap kinds as the first layer, and the big bulky kind as the second layer. Try and make it so your fingers can still move, sort of. Also try not to get something fluffy on your tongue like I did today, because you'll have to take all those gloves off, and that's a pain in the ass, frankly.


11.) Put on your winter coat over all of this. Take off your damn gloves to zip it up, all the way past your chin. If you have a hood, put it up. Then, put another scarf around it all. You'll look great.


12.) One last finishing touch...sunglasses! These are for either if it's sunny, or if your eyes need protection from the wind. Try and have them be giant and match part of your outfit.


13.) When you come back inside, take off everything you're wearing and put it in a big pile on the floor. Eat a lot of chocolate covered pretzels in your regular underwears, not your long underwears. You've had enough of those...

Snow Day #1!!!

I always have really good intentions to document every little adventure I have, but I rarely follow through completely. I stress the word little, however, since the stuff I write about is rarely an adventure, really. I just make it sound way exciting, you see? Today was TOTALLY an adventure though! It was a Snow Day here in Wisconnie - the first of the winter. Oh wait, it's not even winter yet. And we still got 6 and 1/2 inches of snow. And our total so far for the year is something like 17 inches already. What's the deal, Mother Nature? Crazy Lady...

Anyhow, I digress. Snow Days makes me sort of stir crazy and all ramble-y, so I'm not sure how this whole "blogging" thing is going to go today. To be fair, I did leave the house, which was part of the adventure. But the day started out with me being very, very lazy...I made attempts to do some documenting. Let's have a lookie, shall we?

I woke up at 7 am to check the weather. When I saw that the Madison schools had closed, I called my home school families to cancel morning lessons. I then stayed in my pajamas and glasses and greasy hair until 1 pm, dreading the inevitable shoveling I'd have to do. I'll be honest though - I did not shovel for a single second today. By the time I actually even looked out the window, Xiao and my downstairs neighbor had done it all already. I'm slightly obsessed with Xiao today (if you don't know who Xiao is, do a little research here and here). When I talked to him, he was out shoveling The Lanai, which got covered in snow last winter, and had basically done the whole thing already. Here's how it went down:

Me: Xiao, you didn't have to do this!
Xiao: No, it's fine, we're all together here
Me: What? Okay, well thank you so much! Next time, please save some for me to shovel!
Xiao: It's fine! We're good neighbors!
Me: Oh...okay...yeah! Well I'll help with the driveway next time.
Xiao: No, you just stay inside and get better. Feel better!

Oh. I'm not sick, Xiao. Maybe it was just the greasy hair and pajamas. Whoops a daisy.

Okay, enough shameless links to my own damn blog. Here are some pictures of the beautiful snow, and the even more beautifully shoveled driveway:





The view from inside my car:



So, with nothing to do and nowhere to go, I decided to meet Genia at Mother Fools, the local coffee shop. I like Mother Fools just fine, but sometimes I get a little bored there. And what's the cure for boredom on a Snow Day like today, my friends? That's right! Booze!!! I carefully filled my flask with this really gross minty liquor called Rumplemintz (I think it's from a year ago) and brought it along with me...so smart! Here's me with my flask:



As grody as Rumplemintz may be, it works perfectly with a nice hot chocolate drink.

(that's about half booze, by the way)

Sometimes they're disapproving at Mother Fools, so I had to carefully hide the flask in my purse and add it to my drink under the table, stealthily.



And here is Miss Genia, who joined me in company, but not in boozing it up.


I then made a beautiful dinner at my house and forgot to document it. Suck! These good intentions always taper out at some point...But yes, this was Snow Day #1! I'm sure there will be many more to come, and I'm very sure I'll be way more of a crab on those days. Don't you worry about a thing baby, you can always count on me to be a crab in the winter.