Jamba Juice - It's Fer Real, Brah

I'm a big fan of gift cards and gift certificates. Around the holidays, I receive a lot of them from my students and their families. They've caught on over the years; I've gone from receiving Starbucks gift cards (that I sold to a friend, by the by) to ones for Victor Allen's, a local coffee chain. This year I got three from Subway (because the kids listen when I talk about how much I love sandwiches, see?), one or two for different bars, and two gas cards. Yep, they've got me figured out.

I keep all the gift cards in a little glittery green wallet my friend Tara gave me a few years ago. There are cards in there that are at least five years old. One of them, in particular, always caught my attention because of its obscurity and randomness. It was a card for Jamba Juice.

JAMBA JUICE. What the hell?

My mother handed me this Jamba Juice gift card once, years ago, saying that a patient at work had given it to her and she'd never use it. I shrugged and accepted it, figuring I could, one day, probably stomach a frozen juice or smoothie or whatever they serve there. I kept it in my green wallet and thought nothing of it until, one day, I decided to check the balances of each of the cards. Seven bucks and some change on the Subway card, twenty dollars even to Panera, and a whopping $30 to Victor Allen's (a gift from some siblings - I totally scored on that one). When I came to the Jamba Juice card, I almost ignored it, figuring I'd probably never get to Jamba Juice anyhow. But, just for fun, I decided to check the balance. Guess how much was on there...

No, for real guess. You'll never guess.

$50. That's five-zero. FIFTY DOLLARS. To Jamba Juice. Again, I ask you: What. The. Hell?! Who even buys a Jamba Juice gift card for fifty dollars?!

After enjoying the initial shock and hilarity, I sort of ignored the card for awhile. I always knew I was sitting on a goldmine of blended fruit, ice, and "boosts" (more on that later), but never had the interest or motivation to actually act upon it. UNTIL NOW. Whoops, caps lock. Until now...

A few weeks ago, Andy and I went and saw a play at the Overture Center. We don't often find ourselves on State St., so we decided to take a little walk. As we strolled down the street, a bright yellow vision appeared before us...Jamba Juice. The one and only. We looked at each other. "Should we do it?" I asked urgently. "I mean, fifty dollars." We were both intimidated, and decided to walk past and try again on our walk back up State St. When we arrived back, however, we were both too freaked out/nervous/scared to go in. Yes, seriously. Jamba Juice is intimidating.

But finally, the actual, real time came this past Sunday. The time to nip it in the bud, get on with it, just do it, and other such slogans. We found ourselves on State St. again after a lovely breakfast with my parents and a long walk, and so, as the bright yellow sign once again appeared in the distance, we squared our shoulders, narrowed our eyes, and determinedly headed inside.

The air inside a Jamba Juice is different. It feels recycled and recirculated, sort of like in a mall, but with the addition of a heavy citrus scent, which made my eyes water. The long line of people waiting for frozen juice wore colorful clothing and bored, indifferent faces. These colors and faces reminded me of the air: sort of false and sour. Many of the people there had fake-tanned legs. The clothes they wore were all different, yet seemed chillingly similar. I couldn't put my finger on what it was, but it seemed almost like some sort of unofficial uniform. One that nobody had told Andy and I about.

We read the menu sort of desperately and hysterically, feeling very much under pressure. "I'm deciding between the...uh...Mango-a-go-go and the...Orange-A-Peel," Andy said, looking intently at the list of confusing and stupidly-named beverages. I started to laugh and took a breath, ready to totally make fun of him, when I realized that I was probably going to order the Orange-A-Peel myself. Dammit. Lesson #1: If you're at a Jamba Juice, you're going to sound like a damn fool no matter what you order.

Once we'd decided on our orders (the two listed above - please don't make me write them out again), we then had to decide on what "boosts" to add. Yes, boosts (read about them here). We'd joked earlier about trying to create a drink with one of every boost in order to try and spend the $50, or at least a good chunk of it, but once we were inside the actual Jamba Juice, we knew it would be an impossibility. Or cause major loose stools, know what I mean? Those boosts are just too intense. Anyhow, I went with a 3G Charger Boost and Andy picked the Flax and Fiber Boost, though I was tempted by the Weight Burner Boost so then I could lose weight WHILST drinking Jamba Juice. Effective diets, amiright gals?



We both ordered the medium size, which, incidentally, was called "Original." The smallest size is called "Sixteen" and the largest is called "Power." Yep, Sixteen, Original, and Power. Whaa? We both got a boost, and a somewhat pricey drink. And our total was only $11.39. We did our best, and that's all we could spend. My damn Jamba Juice card still has $38.61 on it. Ugh.



They do have some products for sale there, like water bottles and t-shirts, and even this pretty nice citrus juicer that my dad might like. Maybe I'll go back and get that. I don't think I can take another Jamba Juice experience, even if I just order the Sixteen.

So, what have I learned from all of this? Well, I guess Jamba Juice sells smoothies. That's basically what they are. Really mediocre smoothies. The taste was...fine. The consistency...alright. It was all really unremarkable. What a let down, right? Andy and I did our best to match the mediocrity of the smoothies in the pictures we took of each other:


Other things I got out of this: Well, I finally spent some of the gift card and worked up the nerve to go inside a Jamba Juice. Sure, let's count that as something. What else...? Oh, Andy and I made up a whole new way of speaking to each other. We are now only talking in Addicted Boost Talk. For example:

Andy: Hey, I could really use a Boost right about now. Wanna hit up the Double J, brah?
Me: Awww, duuuuude, TOTALLY. I've been hardcore jonesin' for a boost.

Or, the sexy date version:

Me: Oh maaaaaaan, I had a hard day at work. I could really use a Boost right about now, you know, man?
Andy: Fer sure, yo. Let's shoot over to the Jambs and grab a coupla Boosts, have a nice romantic night, ya know girl?

Or, in more dramatic terms:

Andy (arriving after the long drive up to Madison): Babe, I GOTTA get me a Boost. It's been a week - there are no JJs in Monroe. We gotta get to State St., like NOW!
Me: Oh...yeah, sure...let's...um...go in a little while.
Andy (long silence, followed by a hysterical): DID YOU BOOST WITHOUT ME?! DID YOU BOOST WITH SOMEBODY ELSE?????
Me: No! It's not like that! I just...I just really needed a Boost and I was just passing by...
Andy: I can smell it on you. You reek of citrus. And your hair is so lush and shiny...YOU DID THE ANTIOXIDANT POWER BOOST! We were going to try that one together. TOGETHER!!!
Me: Babe, I swear, I only had one. I needed it. I DIDN'T THINK I WAS GOING TO MAKE IT!!!
Andy: It's like I don't even know you anymore.

Yep. That's what I got out of my trip to Jamba Juice. Hilarious, make-believe conversations.

Well, that and a blog entry, finally. I'll take it.

UPDATE: How could I forget to check on my favorite local restaurant review website, Eating in Madison A to Z, who just finished an EIGHT YEAR PROJECT to try every restaurant in Madison. Wow, that's akin to eating, like $250 worth of Jamba Juice, dudes! Check their much more respectful and mature review here. Baby aspirin. You are spot on, Nichole.

Wisconsin Love Affair #2: Hook's 15-Year Cheddar

I hit a giant and stupid wall of writer's block just a little while ago, while at the same time being unable to figure out how to transfer some pictures from my Google+ affected Picasa account to my stupid desktop. So annoying. It was a really frustrating moment, so instead of throwing my computer on the ground and screaming, I decided to stop myself and close that blog window. Totally not worth it.

Disclaimer: Before I decided to chill the hell out, I angrily deleted my stupid Google+ profile and my Picasa albums were once again perfect and usable. Stupid Google+. What's the point? I actually like facebook. Yesterday an old co-worker found a stray dog near her house and posted a picture, then a few of us in the neighborhood reposted, and THEN the dog's owner saw it and went and got his dog back! Internet! FACEBOOK! Tomorrow, I probably won't care, but for now, giant sucks to Google+ and applause for facebook.

Anyhow. Instead of making myself crazy by trying to finish the other thing I was writing, I decided to take a break...by posting a blog. Whaaaa?! Relax - it's another blog of food pictures. You should be used to this by now. For Christmas this year, my lovely boyfriend got me some beautiful, thoughtful, and amazing gifts. As we were exchanging a couple of days before Christmas, he confessed that he was nervous he'd gotten me too many food-related gifts. Immediately after, he handed me these:

That would be ice wine and Hook's 15-year cheddar cheese, made right here in Wisconsin. Holy crap, boyfriend. Holy crap.

You should definitely take the time to read about both the wine and the cheese, because they're both very unique and wonderful, and I've been talking about them for months, apparently (maybe I was subtly hinting at what I wanted as a gift, eh?). Honestly, I haven't tried the wine yet, but I have tried the cheese. Oh lord, have I tried the cheese. Andy and I rang in the popular holiday of December 31st at midnight by opening the cheese and sampling some. And it was amazing.

He cuts things very carefully.








We ate it plain, off the cutting board. Andy went through a lot of emotions, including disbelief...

"I need a rest..."

And, finally, peacefulness.
I think he nearly cried at one point. I just kept repeating "I'm so happy! I'm SO happy!" By the by, he's wearing his swimming trunks because it was really hot in my apartment.

What a bunch of nerds, eh?

Amazing Breakfast Sandwich

There's this Simpsons episode in which they go to a swap meet and Bart picks up a "pencil holder," to which Homer says...oh never mind, I found the video. Here:

This line has been in my head for a couple of weeks now, only replace "seen" with "written" and "bong" with "blog." Yep. I haven't written a blog in years. Or weeks, really. But it feels like years.

And frankly, it may be awhile still before I write an actual, substantial blog that's not just pictures of what I ate this morning. I think that right now, I'm busier than I've been since I was in grad school. Yes, busy with weddings and traveling, but that still means busy, guys. Okay? And there just hasn't been time for blogs and writing. There will be soon, I hope, but not at the moment.

So for now, enjoy these pictures of what I ate this morning. I think I made one of my best breakfast sandwiches ever. And you just have to hear about it!

First off, I got these eggs from one of the families I teach. They have chickens in their backyard that lay 2-3 eggs a day, apparently, so I got these! By the way, does anybody want chickens? They're looking for a new home for them. Let me know.

I had some leftover pesto from some dinner I made, and some goat cheese, so I spread some on each side of an english muffin.

Then I put a layer of this really thinly-cut rosemary ham from Trader Joe's on top. Ham. All of a sudden I love ham. What's happening?

Next I fried one of those eggs, over-medium. Over-medium is awesome, because you can smoosh your sandwich down and all the yolk breaks on top of the rest of the sandwich. That'll happen later.

I put the egg on top of the ham. I like the cheese to be the top layer in most sandwiches.

Now - the smooshing! Absolutely delicious.

Some day we'll talk about something that isn't food. Some day...not today.

What I Made This Summer

It's no secret that I'm not the greatest cook in the world. I am a damn fine baker, and I can prepare the hell out of appetizers and desserts and party foods. But sometimes you have to try a little harder, and that was what I wanted to do this summer. Also, sometimes trying results in beautiful pictures of foods. And my love for food pictures is also no secret. So, this is what I made this summer:

Egg salad a la Nanny! Well okay, my mom made this one. But it was so delicious that I had to include it in the summer food blog. She puts in chopped up lettuce, tomato, and green onion. Delicious!

Oh, just a sandwich platter. I made this for lunch at my parents' house last week. Salami, turkey, ham, and two kinds of cheese! There were also some vegetables on another plate, so don't judge.

Look what you can do with such magnificence!

I cooked tofu for the first time! This tofu turned out awesome, but the "stir fry" was pretty sorry. Carrots, red cabbage, and green beans with sesame seeds. This could have used some noodles or rice, but I think my main goal was cooking tofu. So, BOOM.

Couscous! This is preparing, not cooking. I'll admit it. But I love the picture. It's a blend called Harvest Grains and it's delicious.

Um...okay...this is preparing, too. So what, man? I've told you before - it's my blog and I do what I want. This fantastic thing is called a "hot dog." Bite me.

Okay, polenta. I fried it up in a pan and sprinkled paprika on it.

Then I added some melted cheddar, cut up tomatoes, avocado, and two poached eggs. Is this considered cooking, snobby?

Tomato, mozzarella, basil salad. Two kinds of tomato.

Taco salad! I forgot about this one. Bed of lettuce topped with Gimme Lean (AHAHAHAHHHAAHAHA) that I seasoned like taco meat, tomatoes, vegan cheese, guacamole, and plain greek yogurt instead of sour cream.

Hmm...Jess cooked all of this, except for that little brown thing in the corner. That's zucchini bread that I baked, but I guess this blog isn't about baking. This one is. Jess made mashed purple potatoes with horseradish cheddar and a Moroccan carrot salad with dates and mint. That yellow thing is corn which is still attached to its own cob. Crazy!

Have you ever heard of nachos? Sarah and I made a nacho bar at her house with her Dad. Then we watched about 6.5 hours of True Blood. That's what you're supposed to do with your BFF, got it?

Black bean and corn salad! Black beans, corn, mango, red onion, avocado and cilantro. Topped with juice from one lime and one orange, and a little salt and pepper. You can substitute tomato for mango and it gives it a totally different taste.
I also made sushi, but you probably read about that already because you're an incredibly loyal fan who reads everything I write. Right? RIGHT?! Now that the weather has been fall-like for a whole 36 hours, I've already baked that zucchini bread and am getting together ingredients for banana-honey-date muffins that I'll made today or tomorrow. I'll probably just eat cider donuts and pumpkin-flavored things for the next few months and never touch a vegetable again. Thanks for everything, summer eating!

How to Make Sushi with a Friend

I remember writing a blog entry a few months back, and promising that this wouldn't become a food blog. I promise, that was not a lie. "Become" is a word that completely transfers and changes, you see, so I can honestly say that I'm sticking with that. Yes, perhaps 99% of my blogs are now just pictures of food, but hey! I like pictures of food. I like pictures of food so, so much. Also, I'm busy. And lazy. So with that eloquent and detailed explanation, I give you...more pictures of food. But since I like you so much, you lucky so-and-so, I'll tell you what's happening too. How's that for busy and lazy!

I've discussed with several people lately how much I love cooking, baking, and preparing food with friends. Good activity, amazing company, and a satisfying result at the end. When else am I this productive with friends, I ask you? Sarah and I threw together last year's Nude Year's party on a whim and had the best time putting together appetizers and Nutella-banana empanadas. Sara, Layla, and I always had a great time preparing the spread for the Halloween parties, even though it was hours and hours of work. And I'll always appreciate that some of my favorite dates have been making dinner with a charming young man. Or a not so charming young man...in fact, on a few occasions, I think I liked making the dinner a lot more than I liked the man. Whoops a daisy!

Last night was the perfect example of this. One of my best and dearest friends, Tara, came to town, and had the brilliant idea of making sushi at her parents' house, which I'd never done before. Don't worry, though; although I'm a crappy student, Tara is a wonderful teacher. We had a wonderful time, putting together the rolls and gossiping about work, men, the future, and The Glee Project. Yep, we sure did. I got a lot of avocado on my camera whilst obsessively documenting. That was grody. But, hey, sexy results below, right? This is, by no means, a recipe, but more so a step-by-step guide on how to have an awesome time while making sushi.

First, you need a lovely friend and a bright and well-equipped kitchen. Thanks, Linda and Clay!

Next, you cut up whatever vegetables you want to include. Try and make them thin and long, and somewhat uniform.

We used carrots, cucumber, avocado, and tofu.

Linda, Tara's mom, had made sticky rice the day before, which shortened the process. Though, it still took us over two hours. Wah wah!

Tara cooked the tofu - you just dry fry it in a nonstick pan until it browns.

Hay, ingredients!

Sometimes people look a little sexy when they cook.

And sometimes people need to buckle down and focus and get back to work. That's right, Tschillard. Tighten it up.

Tara and Linda.

The assembly: Separate the rice a bit in your fingers and spread a layer over a sheet of seaweed. Then include whatever ingredients you want in that roll. We used all of them in this one.

This was the green roll: just cucumber and avocado. Texture-wise, this was my favorite.

Once you've got all the ingredients in, you roll them up and seal the end of the seaweed with a little bit of water. We made eight rolls total.

You need a sharp knife to cut through the rolls, otherwise they fall apart, or as Tara, said "explode." Wow, Tara, how dramatic!

This is one end of a roll, which looks a bit uneven, but you get the idea.

This is how many pieces we had. I bet we could make some great food bets and challenges with these!

Carrot, cucumber, and avocado rolls.

On the table. Good presentation is important, you know.

On the plate with a little soy sauce and wasabi mixed in.

I have to say, making sushi is the perfect activity for somebody with slight touches of OCD: you get to cut up vegetables uniformly and tiny, you make a huge mess that you get to eventually roll up into a neat little seaweed package, you get to arrange the ingredients by color, texture, and food group, you get to wash your hands numerous times...seriously, it's perfect.

We had a lovely evening of cooking and preparing food, then sharing it with Tara's parents and their friend. Tara also made these delicious truffles for dessert, but obviously I forgot to take any pictures of that. None. Maybe it was because I was so distracted by making the sushi. Or, maybe it was the fact that Linda made me three or four of these and I sort of forgot about anything else that wasn't a margarita:
Don't you love it when your friend's mom gets you liquored up? Classy times!

P.S. There was a widespread rumor (started by myself and Linda), that sushi and margaritas don't go together well, but we were proven wrong last night! You just need to get in two to three margaritas you before you have any sushi to make it work. Don't worry, you'll be great.

Restaurant Week Summer 2011 - 43 North

Guess what! I'm not feeling too wordy lately. So, here are some pictures from 43 North during Restaurant Week:

"Amuse bouche." Jess says, "Well, I'm amused!" Come on, man, that's FUNNY. It was also sort of greasy, and I don't remember what it was. Sorry.

Bread with European butter and olive oil powder. Food is complicated sometimes.

Watercress Salad: Pineapple, goat cheese and hazelnut.

Chilled Tomato Soup: Pressed melon, salsa verde and olive oil

Bounty of Vegetables: Truffle spaetzel, malt, barley and hazelnut. Hahahaha! BOUNTY!!!

Game Hen: Gnocchi, wild mushrooms, sorrel and mustard caramel.

Benedictine Cheese: Carr Valley, shallot fig conserve and red quinoa cracker.

Tamarind: Passion Fruit, cilantro and coconut

There were a couple of delicious vodka drinks. And they gave out a $20 off dinner coupon, so yes, I will go back.