Happy (Sexy) Halloween!

Oh yikes! Did you all know that it's Halloween? Whoops a daisy! The days pass very quickly as of late, and I sort of lost track of time. Also, I'm here in Madison for Halloween this year, which is not the norm for me. I'm usually partying with my sister down in Atlanta, as I've done for the past eight or so years. But this year I visited her for her birthday instead, so here I am in Madison without a clue as to what to do with myself! Although I did a bit of research last year around this time, it's all still pretty confusing; I've spent much of the last two days wandering around in a daze, asking people "what do you do here? What's happening? Where do I go? What do I wear?" Seriously, I'm confused. Do you wear the same costume on both nights? I don't understand.

In hopes of some last-minute resolve, I visited a couple of Halloween stores today: Mallatt's Pharmacy on Monroe Street, a classy, well-stocked family business, and Halloween Express, a total shit-hole out by the mall. Ugh, seriously, I started to feel all filthy in there. Like, literally filthy, as in dirty. You touch one thing in there and your hands smell like old latex for days. Anyhow, I found out a little bit about what people here in Madison do on Halloween, and what sorts of costumes one might wear. I've divided them up so you'll be able to understand better. God, I'm so helpful...Sorry in advance for many of the blurry pictures. It's really hard to take good pictures when everything is in a plastic bag and employees are giving you dirty looks...

Sometimes, people in Madison like to wear creepy wigs. Mallatt's has this line of wigs completely surrounding the inside of the building. It's pretty excessive, and they all have funny names like "Ringlet," "Peggy Sue," and "Romance Wig." Click here for what is probably the most hilarious and most comprehensive list of wigs ever! Make sure to check out the "Older Men Wigs" while you're there.
That black and white one is called "Shaggy Punk Style," I believe.
I couldn't believe how accurate this one was. It looks just like Sarah Palin! Well...Busted Up Sarah Palin. OH!!! Boom.

And special thanks to Genia for being my wig model. This is a Geisha Wig:
And a Giant Pompadour Wig:
Lookin' good, Genia!

Sometimes costumes in Madison come with an agenda. Oh Madison, you're always recycling! And in a positive way!

And sometimes costumes in Madison are just confusing. Who even thought of this?!

One thing that I noticed was that there were similar costumes for adults and children. The names of these costumes, however, are changed to make it appropriate, I guess. For example, here is Devil on Fire:
But here is Fancy Red Devil! See, everybody is happy!
On the opposite end of the spectrum, we have Sexy Angel:
And for the kids, Deluxe Angel:
It's a really nice reminder that someday, every person can grow up to be a sexy something or other. If they truly believe.

Okay, speaking of Sexy Somethings, is anybody else totally grossed out by like 90% of women's costumes out there? It's Sexy Everything! I mean, I'm familiar with the whole Sexy Nurse, Sexy Cat, and Sexy Santa ideas; I've despised them for years. But really, I think things are getting ridiculous. I found myself very confused and grossed out, mostly at Halloween Express, at some of these costumes:

Sexy...Detective! And yes, the company name is Leg Avenue. Ugh...
Sexy Ghostbuster! And thank the universe for Genia, who, after seeing this costume, proclaimed "more like vagina buster." YOW!
Oh good, at least this one is spooky. A Sexy Mummy. Really.
You know, Sugar and Spice. We'll take baking and cooking supplies, and sexify them up. Sexy Food! With outfits that have absolutely nothing to do with said food! Perfect.
Sexy Corpse Bride. Man, this is just stupid.

To be honest, I started to get a little paranoid at this point. You see, my brilliant idea for a costume this year was a sort of tongue-in-cheek version of one of these. I decided to be a Sexy something that is totally not sexy, and is extremely far-fetched, thusly being hilarious and poking a little fun at the whole Sexy Something costume. What did I decide on, you ask? Sexy Hobo, my friends. I'm going to be a Sexy Hobo for Halloween. I thought it was pretty hilarious and brilliant...don't you? Well, at this store, I actually started to doubt myself. If a detective can be sexy, or a ghostbuster, or an effing mummy, then I don't think hobo can be far behind! I bet that within two years, there will be a Sexy Hobo in existence. Ugh, so bogus.

One good thing I saw at the store, and probably my saving grace, was this costume: Private Dancer. I guess it was technically a "Sexy" costume, but I mean, come on. Tina can't not be sexy.
Happy Hallowiener, dudes. Tell me what you're going to be! And if it's Sexy Something, then, um, we should probably talk. Because I totally just made fun of you throughout this entire blog. Whoops a daisy!

Toto + Mannheim Steamroller = A Perfect Match?

You know the song "Rosanna" by Toto? I was telling Gwen today that it's one of only two songs that I will for sure 100% always listen to if it comes on. Whether it's on a cd, my iPod, or the Lite FM station, if it comes on, I know I will never ever skip it. Even with my favorite bands like Guns n' Roses or Devotchka, or, believe it or not, the song "Don't Stop Believing," I can't be sure I'll be in the mood to listen. Seriously, sometimes I'm not in the mood for GNR. I know, I can't believe it either. But "Rosanna," I'm in the mood for that every time!

Have you ever noticed, though, that the big instrumental solo in "Rosanna" sounds really similar to something that maybe Mannheim Steamroller might do? Hmm...sort of gross...

Check out the solo at about 2:50.



And here is the Mannheim Steamroller. I'm not going to give you a time - just watch the whole video. You know, get the whole story.


They're like the same song! Yeah, I just wanted to point that out.

Oh, and what's the other song I'll always listen to, you ask? "Africa." Also by Toto. Whoops a daisy!

Simply Fabulous!

No, it's not a Sex and the City reference, thank god. But it is good news, dudes. It's slowly but surely happening. I'm getting famous...

Well...okay, I'm totally not getting famous. But! Even though I didn't write anything for a zillion years, the one and only John Statz, Madison music scene staple and folk singer to the max, has presented me and my blog with the amazing Simply Fabulous Award! Although I probably won't bother to research this myself since I know most of my assumptions are just unconditionally correct, I'm pretty sure there's a very prestigious committee that meets somewhere in Europe once a year to vote on possible recipients of this award, and John is just the lucky person who gave me the message. Yow! Many thanks to John who has a fantastic blog detailing his stories while on tour. This man goes everywhere! He's an amazing musician and a lovely person, and I'm honored that he thought of me. Also, he wears a wrestling mask in his bloggo picture. Totally Sexy. Thank you, John!



So, one of the conditions of this award is that I re-award five blogs of my own choosing. I guess I'm officially on the committee now or something, which is great, because I'm sure I'll have to attend a lot of those meetings in Europe. The second condition is that I write about five of my obsessions. That's a dangerous condition for somebody who leans slightly towards the OCD behaviors, so I'll instead lean away from those real obsessions and just talk about awesome things. Narrowing it down to five is ridiculously hard, so I'll just do the first five I think of. Here you go:

1. Infomercials. I first started watching infomercials when I was having trouble sleeping during grad school. I don't have cable and am limited to about ten channels at the most. Many of them show infomercials. And I do not mind. My favorites include The Magic Bullet (amazing blender/food processer/purée-er), The Jack Lalanne Juicer (self-explanatory), The GTXpress (this makes all your food in the shape of a pocket), Hip Hop Abs (Shawn T's Three T's! Tilt, Tuck, and Tighten!), and Chef Tony's Miracle Blades (knives). I own the Magic Bullet, the juicer, and a Sunggie. But I should say that they've all been gifts. So instead of being a sucker, I can just consider myself "a fan." Those infomercials are brilliant and hilarious and I love them.

2. Pictures of Food. Um...yeah. Have you all heard of Delicious Food? And This is Why You're Fat? And Insanewiches? And Everybody Likes Sandwiches? And PICTURES OF FOOD? Stupendous.

3. Tights and earrings, every color of the rainbow. I have tried getting rid of things, spring cleaning, whatever, and every time, I get rid of no more than one pair of earrings and maybe two pair of tights. Only because they have holes or have lost their elastic since I started wearing them in high school. So I have a lot. As you can see:




4. People. I love people. I believe in the inherent good of people. I love traveling to see people. I've recently realized that all I want to do is save up all my money and travel around the country and the world to see all the people I love and meet all the people I will love. I love talking to people. I love learning from people, way more than I like learning from classes or books. I am fascinated with how people think and feel, and the way their brains work, and I think endlessly about people and how they see the world and live their lives and what that must feel like. And I revel in the realization that I'll never know, and I love that. I love the mystery of everybody.

5. Fall. Especially in Wisconnie. I think John said it quite well in his last entry, and I'll try and live up to that...I have fallen in love with this beautiful state, especially in the last few weeks. The cool/cold weather makes the air so fresh; I actually enjoy breathing more than usual. All of a sudden I want to cook and bake and listen to folk music all day, and I love every minute of it. In my car, I take the long way home and drive slowly, away from the main roads. I switch from iced lattes to hot coffee drinks. I wear hats and scarves and find myself saying "I like daytime activities" and happily staying home on Friday and Saturday nights. I want to take walks and not speak, not listen to music, just walk and see and hear the world. Fall in Wisconnie - you should totally join me here sometime.

And now, to re-award! I love blogging and I love reading other blogs, and I'll admit, I'm probably extremely biased here. But I believe these are some of the finest blogs out there in the bloggy blogosphere. Very difficult to narrow it down to five, but here are some I love that post pretty regularly. Check it!

1. Ashes and Glass. Well, duh, of course the first one is my sister's blog! Sara's writing, pictures, artwork, and activism fill her blog and fill my heart (yes, I wrote that and I meant it. Bite me). She's a magical, wonderful, and beautiful sister and person, and her blog is just a tiny piece of somebody I'm elated and overjoyed to have in my life and call family.

2. Fifty Acorns Tied in a Sack. My girl Tara; my first friend in Madison and one of my best friends ever in life. With every post, she inspires me to create, imagine, live beautifully, and love endlessly. Damn, I love this woman.

3. Grin and Beer It. You read it right! Oh, no big deal, just my BFF Sarah's blog about beer. I'm always impressed with Sarah's ever-expanding knowledge of beer and her desire to learn more. Plus, she posts great pictures of the beer and the food she eats with it, and uses words like "heady" and "mouthfeel." Sexy.

4. Easel Ain't Easy. Oh Breena. Where do I ever start with Breena? I think we're secretly the same person. Ridiculously talented, both artistically and musically, and undoubtedly one of the kindest and most loving people I know, Breena simply rules. She recently moved out to Portland to work on her graphic novel (can you say BADASS?) and has a fantastic site with her blog, her comic, her music, and many other wonderful things. I admire Breena so much and wish every day we could hang out more. Her comics are posted near daily, so if you subscribe, you get a lovely little surprise drawing in your inbox all the time! Fantastic.

5. In The Pudding Club. Okay. This is my friend Lauren from high school. Although we weren't all that tight in high school, I've since become sort of obsessed with her (as well as her sister Claire who, incidentally, dated Little Brudder a long, long time ago! Although I guess I've been obsessed with her since like ten years ago) and cannot stop reading this blog of hers. Lauren has a baby, and as you probably know, I'm no expert on the babies. But I can say that this is the most honest and beautifully written, not to mention hilarious, baby-related blog I've ever seen. Read this is you want to be all full of love and maybe have a kid some day.

So that's that! To you five winners, let's hear your top fives! And to the rest of you lovelies, thanks for reading and writing, and a big ole thanks to John for the award! I expect I'll be doing a lot of traveling to these committee meetings and making speeches to teenagers and stuff like that, now that I've obtained this award, so if I'm not around for awhile, you'll understand why. xo!

Ghostland Observatory and Southern Comfort...? It Somehow Made Sense Tonight

I remember where I drank the Southern Comfort, but I don't remember where I was when I barfed it back up. It was junior year in college, the year everything was hilarious. A few of us, I'm sure Sarah included, were over at Debbie and Jennifer's apartment, and for some reason we were drinking Southern Comfort. That's where it started. Where it finished, I don't know, but I'll assume a toilet in a dorm somewhere in Beloit, Wisconsin. Classy times.

I have had a few tastes of Southern Comfort since then, but it's never really sat well with me; not in my stomach, and not in my mouth. I don't like the taste, even when masked by lime or sweet tea or coke or a bitters in a Manhattan. I just don't like it. What I do like, however, is everything else about the company. Southern Comfort (minus the taste of their product) rules!!!

No, this isn't my new corporate sponsor...I'm not that famous! Yet... Really though, I'm just being honest. Southern Comfort has the most ridiculous, generous promotions ever. I've been to three concerts put on by them in the past few years, and they do it up. The first year they brought The Flaming Lips to Willow Island in Madison, and the second year (last summer) they did a festival with The Black Keys, GZA, and The Roots. Both events were free and included plenty of free beads and posters and other "swag," as those in the industry might say. So, needless to say, I got excited when I saw there was another Southern Comfort show coming up; especially since one of my favorite bands, Ghostland Observatory, would be playing.

Contrary to my previous SoCo-related experience and knowledge, this was not a free show with beads. This was much, much more, my friends. Not only was the show free, but each person was handed two free drink tickets as they entered the venue. There was a little table where a girl was handing out shots of Southern Comfort (also free), plenty of posters and cds being handed out, also for free, and, of course, beads. Oh, and then! Then...I saw in the distance a table piled high with...SANDWICHES. No, I'm serious! They had four varieties of sandwiches sitting on a table for all the world to eat. And these were no weak, crappy sandwiches, man; these were made on a beautiful, thick, multigrain bread with fresh tomato and lettuce atop deli turkey, roast beef, or ham - plus a veggie option. And you could have as many as you wanted! Finally, somebody got it right. Why can't there be sandwiches at every show? Thank you, Southern Comfort.

Almost as important as the sandwiches was the music. DJ Lord, previously of Public Enemy, opened the night with a crazy-energetic two hour long set. He played a ton of old school hip hop which was fantastically threaded together. It seemed effortless to him. At some point, he changed the mood of the music by playing "Smells Like Teen Spirit," "Sweet Child of Mine," "Enter Sandman," "Girls" by the Beastie Boys, and a couple of others along those lines. Genia commented on how he must have been playing to all the white people in the audience. Hahaha! Oh Genia, you slay me.

Taken from me blackberry...


DJ Lord finished his set with an insane few moments of "It Takes Two." His moves were like the effing 1991 Chicago Bulls; smooth, sophisticated, sharp, and occasionally, behind the back. He was like a well-oiled-one-man-machine. Or something. That's just what it said in my head...I don't know. Whatever, DJ Lord did it up.

When Ghostland Observatory came on stage, the room filled with multi-colored lasers and bass that I felt in my heart. Physically. I will absolutely not do Ghostland justice by trying to describe what happened. Seriously, I'm not even going to try. I can say that both Mike and I agreed that we were happy to be sober. I felt that way because I knew it was purely the music that was leaving me speechless and practically breathless. And dudes. They covered Prince. They did "Nothing Compares 2 U," which was unbelievably beautiful. That was followed by a quick, staccato "Erotic City" - fantastic. The last one they did was "Darling Nikki," which was thrilling to me at first, but later made me feel incredibly uneasy. I mentioned to Genia that it was sort of scary, to which she agreed. Nevertheless, when music has that much of an affect on you, whether positive, negative, or, well...scary, that's some powerful stuff there.

Note: I did not take any of these pictures. Good job, everybody else.



It's no easy feat to bring together and thoroughly entertain the diverse population of Madison: frat boys, hipster hairdressers, stoners, rainbow hulahoopers, and piano teachers wearing mom clothes because they just got off work and didn't have time to go home. But Ghostland did it. We all danced hard under those lasers, transfixed on one of the most brilliant frontmen I've ever seen. This man is Perry Ferrell rolled up in Prince and Freddie Mercury with a side of Dio. Plus about a zillion other geniuses. And, on top of it all, he's the sexiest dancer you'll ever see. Shakira wishes she could move her hips like this. His gyrations, marches, prances, and leaps made him look like a genius ballet dancer who was rejected from Julliard by professors who just didn't realize he was ahead of his time. Sucks to you, Julliard, now he's in the Ghostland Observatory. And he's taking over bits of the world, one at a time.



Huge, gigantic thank you to Christopher who introduced me to this band a little while back. (Holy eff, I just got a reminder from one Mr. Kaleb about how he included a Ghostland track on a mix cd years ago! Thanks, Kaleb, and my sincerest apologies for not knowing what's cool. Damn.) And also, I guess, thanks to Southern Comfort. Even though your booze tastes like ass a little bit, I really do appreciate your marketing efforts. Like, really a ton. I'll continue coming to your shows to receive free stuff and watch brilliant music, as long as you keep providing me with these opportunities. That's fair, right?

Oh dudes, one more thing. The other guy in the band wears a cape. He sort of flips it back behind him when he sits down at the drumset. Dreamy, huh?

Now, go ahead and watch some of this. And we'll talk soon, and I'll have nothing to say because I'm still in awe. Go ahead.

We Even Pooped Together

When you're between the ages of 18 and 22 and you're living away from home and your family and parents for the first time ever, and you get to make important life decisions on your own, and set up your room just the way you want it, and get to find and explore your passions in life, you sort of have it made. You can stay up all night, eat whatever you want, pick your own classes, rule your own life, and, seemingly, things couldn't get any better. And then you meet the people. The people, man. It just got better.

Once upon a time, in a small town in Wisconsin, all these weird kids met each other and the world changed. I don't know why we all decided to meet there; I know I, for one, heard my high school friend/prom date's friend Kate talk about Beloit College at some point, and I thought, "Yeah, that sounds fine. Maybe I'll go there." I filled out some forms and wrote an essay, auditioned for a music scholarship, applied for another scholarship, got them both, and off I went to Beloit College. And it was there that I met the most remarkable, most amazing, most interesting people ever in the world.

They came from the East Coast, West Coast, New England, Hawaii, Michigan, the Midwest itself, and "just outside Chicago," among other places. They met by smiling at each other, introducing themselves to strangers, and inviting each other to sit together at dinner. And somehow, probably because of some clash of something magical in the universe, they all clicked. I won't speak for the rest of you, but I know that at that point, my life changed.

I'm sure there are articles and essays written about the importance of bonding with friends and peers at certain ages in order to develop social and interpersonal skills, but whatevs, I haven't read any of them. I can imagine hypotheses written about brains aged 18 - 22 years old and why they are often so susceptible, so impressionable, so...open? Is there some sort of hormone that gets released when you enter college that makes you unconditionally love and understand everybody who crosses your path? Or was it just a wonderful phenomenon that only happens in the magical land of Beloit?

Or...maybe it's that we live together, sometimes sharing beds just a few inches apart, and thusly have to connect because we have no choice. Or maybe it's because we spend every waking (and sometimes, sleeping) moment with each other, whether it's brushing our teeth together, showering in stalls next to each other, walking to class together, eating together, drinking together, playing music together, staying up late together, or laying with heads on shoulders, not talking together. I mean, that's got to be it, right? To quote one Andy Brink (RA extraordinaire of the famous 819 sophomore year, 1998 - 1999), "We even pooped together!" Yeah, I'd say that's it.

We all faced an inevitably beautiful vulnerability of being on our own, totally alone, with nothing familiar in our lives, and we came out of it all with connections unlike anything we had experienced before. We had little choice but to open up and allow each other in if we wanted to survive. And thankfully, it all resulted in love.

I'm not totally sure what the focus of this is, or the point, or whether I'm clearly explaining exactly what I'm trying to say, and I know I'm all over the place. But I can say (in a focused, clear way) that I couldn't have had a better group of friends to do everything together with. We clicked like nothing had ever clicked before. I should hesitate to even use the word "clicked." More fitting: exploded, combusted, detonated. All violent and negative words, unfortunately, but all having to do with fire for some reason. So...whatever a positive fiery word might be...that's what my friends and I are like. Positive and fiery. That's us.

Summer of Everything. Plus.

Oh this summer. It was one of the fullest summers of my entire life. Five weddings, twelve states, 20+ hours in the car with me Mum, 14+ hours in a giant vehicle with the whole family, ten flights, and one missed flight resulting in one fancy hotel. And that doesn't even include all the people. There was a beautiful college reunion in New York where I saw some of my most favorite people in life, an insane wedding in Montana where 50 Arabs descended hard upon a small ski town, a quiet weekend in North Carolina with my oldest friend in life, a couple of county fairs along the way with my wonderful non-Emil-brother, and plenty of time in the good old Wisconnie. My oh my. I don't think much more could have fit inside this momentous summer. In fact, I probably should have broken it down into smaller blog entries with less pictures, but, waa waa! I guess it's all or nothing with me these days...

One of my first trips was to the exotic and remote land of Mt. Horeb, Wisconsin. Mt. Horeb, as some of you may know, is the troll capital of the world. Oh yes it is! My lovely friend Lacy and I took a little day trip to see these mysterious trolls, and even stopped for some beers on the way. Here's the new location of the New Glarus Brewery, home of the legendary Spotted Cow. Who all loves beer??


Trolls love to cuddle...


...and they love high fives.


And, of course, there was North Carolina (come on and raise up). My dear, wonderful Gina, who I've known since third grade, and her hubby Patrick spent the weekend showing me an absolutely beautiful time. There are few people in my life with whom I feel as comfortable as I do with these two. Whether we were lounging around the house with the dog, walking to the farmers market, or classing it up at wineries, it was an amazing, relaxing, hilarious time. Oh, and also, we ate like kings...damn hell ass KINGS! And...so you understand the hilarity:


Coincidentally, I recently came across a blog where the most recent entry highlights the food of North Carolina! Check it out! Tell your friends!

The second wedding of the year was Mark and Alexa's on Long Island. Mark and Alexa are Beloit people, which means....AWESOMENESS!!! Seriously, I met the best people ever in Beloit. It was so full of kindness and creativity and damn weirdos. And a bunch of them were at the wedding. To begin, here are the geniuses who got married:


And here are the geniuses who were the groomsmen. And one genius who thought to put Jaigermeister in a flask.


That's just Andy and I. Very sexy times.


Sarah and Jenny, two of my favorite bandos ever in life.


And the whole Beloit gang. Look for us in the next Beloit Magazine! YOW!

It was such a beautiful wedding. I cried pretty hard during the ceremony, but discovered a new makeup tip: I only did my upper eyeliner before the ceremony. Afterwards, and before the party, I did my bottom eyeliner and mascara. Genius!!!

Okay, so then there was Montana. Oh Montana! I can honestly say that I fell in love. Seriously. I've always talked about how much I love the Midwest and the flat, open landscapes of Wisconsin and Illinois. And, don't get me wrong, that love is still there. But you know what? Those mountains...I'd forgotten about those mountains. I flashed back to my times in Colorado, driving as far up a mountain as we could go just to look back down to where we were. And the softer, rolling mountains in Ireland where I spent much of my childhood, climbing for days and pretending I was in The Sound of Music. It all came back in Montana.

I saw some of the most beautiful things ever in my life, and got to be with some of the best people I know. And I'm lucky enough to be related to all 8 zillion of them! Or sort of related...I don't know, everybody is either a cousin or an auntie 'round these parts. Totally out of order, here's a glimpse into the exceptional things that have made me feel eternally grateful for my life and what I get to do:

The Grand Canyon of Yellowstone. We hiked for forever, it seemed, all the while not knowing what we would soon be experiencing. When this view appeared in front of us, I had to catch my breath. Unbelievable.
At a break in our hike up one of the Grand Tetons. Yeah, I said Teton. My father has always had an interest in napping on rocks in public places, and my sister and I followed his lead. This is called Inspiration Point.
My beautiful family.
Some of the hydrothermal land in Yellowstone: the Fountain Paint Pots. I've never before seen colors like this in nature.
We saw a bear on our very first night! This guy hung out on the hill for awhile before crossing the road right in front of our car. My father kept telling us how lucky we were.
Another view of the Grand Tetons. As you can see, I just couldn't get enough of them. I keep imagining how cold that water is, and how fresh the air felt.
Oh. This is just Sara and I demonstrating how a yeti walks. You know. No big deal.
Do you know that buffalo are adorable? I've only seen them from afar, in the Badlands, but this guy walked right alongside our car. His front legs made him look like he was wearing bell bottoms.
We also went whitewater rafting. This is my sister, four of my cousins, and I in a raft. Missing pictures in this series include: the groom falling in the water, the bride falling in the water, our boat (mainly my cousin Laith) saving a young girl who'd fallen in and tumbled down the rapids, and my mother, several aunts, and several uncles wearing wetsuits. By special request only.


Returning to Wisconnie was no easy feat after that phenomenal trip, but the Dodge County Fair made it better. And my honorary little brother, Alex. Oh, and...STYX. Yes, I've seen Styx four times now, and it gets better and better every time. And the carnival atmosphere definitely helps...


And what would a summer in Wisconnie be without some sort of outdoor activity? Strawberry picking! My friend Jess invited me to go with her and a couple of other people to toil in the fields all day, i.e. pick strawberries and visit a donkey. Effing stellar, Jess. Nice job.
Come on now! Donkeys are so cute!


And last, but absolutely in no way least, one of my favorite pieces of Wisconsin came back to me, after having started her own journey in Austin a couple of years ago. My friend Tara is one of the most beautiful, strong, supportive, and (please pardon the Tyra reference) fiercest women I know. Spending a bit of time with her was the cherry on top of my sundae. No, the cheese on my sandwich. Okay...the appetizers of the entire meal. Basically, she's the greatest. Here we are being totally great.


And so...that's my summer. I actually just let out a giant breath. Let me know if you want to see anymore pictures or hear anymore stories. I'm hoping that the writer's block stays away so I can tell you all more about all of this, and more of whatever happens in the near future. Hopefully more things like this. For now though, I'm so glad to share these tiny bits of loveliness with you all. Thank you for reading!

Blocks and Blanks

I look at my blog "Edit Posts" page and there are seven unfinished drafts in there from the last two months. Seven! I have had writer's block up the wazoo. See? I'm so blocked that I have to resort to words like "wazoo." Ugh.

Anyhow, thanks to a lovely woman named Miriam and her Contemplative Writing class I've been attending, I've finally been able to write a couple of things. Today's assignment made me struggle so much - she gave us a bunch of blanks (i.e. "I regret ___," "I dream of ___," "When I was 8 years old ___," etc). The first 18 of the 20 minutes we wrote felt like pulling teeth. Tough stuff - boundary issues, discomfort -you know. I sort of hated it. But finally, in the last couple of minutes, all this stuff poured out of me, and then one of my awesome classmates said that I should put it on my blog. So...thanks class, and thanks Miriam! First finished piece in 65 days...

I used "I remember___"

I remember an uninspired life. Sitting in dark apartments for hours - laying on couches or beds, eating so much and letting it all sit in my body. Wasting hours and hours on television. And waiting on other people when I already had my shit together.

I remember not caring about much of anything. The biggest challenge of the day was whether I could get through a day of work with this bad a hangover.

And I remember devoting my precious life to somebody else, to too many somebody elses. And leaving myself alone and wondering where I went. And it is what made me realize what I really have to do - for me. I have to do this for me. Because there's no one else I'd rather be in charge of.

And so...

I remember the heartache and pain that led me to joy and inspiration. I remember the suffering that led me to a new, bright, and joyful life. I remember that I've learned to grow up and out and away from the darker parts of life. Like in the book The Prophet - the joy can only be as high as the sorrow was low.

I will continue to remember, experience, and live the highest and most gigantic joys that this world has ever heard of.

Thanks for reading, dudes. And thank you for patience and and clarity and light. Yes, you.

Weenus?

Okay, okay. I'm exhausted and broken and sort of wiped out from a very long (and lovely!) day at work. I scheduled poorly and ended up doing 17 zillion lessons in eight hours, and now I'm not totally sure I can explain what I learned today. But I'ma try, babies! Here we go...

M, 14 years old, comes for her lesson today. We're chatting, and somehow we get on the subject of tattoos. She talks about her cousin who's getting a tattoo behind her ear, and about how much she thinks this will hurt. I say that I can't really think of anywhere on a body that a tattoo wouldn't hurt, to which she replies...

Well, maybe it wouldn't hurt on the weenus!

I laugh, because, duh, "weenus." But then I stop and stare. Weenus? What the eff is a weenus??

My mind automatically travels back to the summer of 2000, and to the Arts Coop at Beloit College. I was hanging out there one summer night with several friends of mine, including one Mr. Andrew Feliciano. Andy, an obvious genius, was walking around being charming, as usual. He spotted this guy Gabe, who had a dog with him. I can't remember the dog's actual name, but Andy decided to call him "Weenus" for the rest of the night. He also decided, at the same time, that he'd from now on call all dogs "Weenus." Gabe didn't like that one bit, but Andy continued. And, as anti-climactic as this may be, that's the end of the story.

Oh, except sometimes I bump into Gabe here in Madison, and I think about Weenus, but I don't bring it up.

So anyhow, back to tonight. I hear my very mature, fourteen-year old student say the word "Weenus" in reference to it being a body part, and getting a tattoo on it and having it not hurt, and she's giggling, and I'm not really sure what to do. So thankfully she realized my confusion and says "Oh! Weenus is the extra skin on your elbow." She then pulls on her elbow skin and repeats it. "Weenus."

Have you all heard this before?? Is this even real? I've done a teensy bit of research, and apparently, there are some things that prove this point! Check it...

From Yahoo! Answers:

Hey whats a wenus (wee-nis)...I heard its either the little indention above your lip or the piece of skin on your elbow...anybody know what it is? Muchos gracias!

David T

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

wenus

1. the skin on your elbow
2. a word use for freaking someone out by making them think youre talking about something else when you say wenus

Your wenus is huge!
Wanna see my wenus?
Cover up your wenus, for the love of god!
My wenus is all wrinkly.
My wenus can stretch really far.
I have TWO wenuses!

And from The Urban Dictionary:

1. weenus
The skin on your elbows. It can be stretched out, and, like a penis, you can compare the size of it to others.
Weenus,
It is a flap of skin.
Weenus,
It holds your elbows in.
Weenus,
It sounds like penis,
But it is weenus,
Oh, Yes, It is!!!

"My weenus is bigger than yours!!!"

Some info from Snopes:
You know, to check if it's an urban legend or not...

And some obviously saintly person who has dedicated a billion hours to the word weenus (sometimes spelled weenis here), using it in sentences, making up games, writing poems, sharing popular references. Too ridiculous to pass up. Check it here.

Weenus? Seriously?? Why would anybody choose weenus as the name of a body part? I just don't understand it. Unreal...

What to Do on a Crabby Ass Morning

I'm having trouble with the capitalization of the title of this blog. What to do? What To Do? I don't even know. And I don't even care.

So I woke up this morning feeling groggy and crabby, which is really unusual for me, especially as of late. Because, you know, I feel pretty wonderful the majority of the time. Honestly, I do. So it wasn't a very pleasant or fun way to wake up feeling all gross and tired and bitchy. Not fun to anybody else, I'm sure, and especially not fun to me! Boooo!

So what does one do in these situations? I mean, sure, there's always the retroactive solutions of Get more sleep, Don't be up until 3 am when you have to wake up at 8 am, Do not drink a giant iced coffee and a giant iced latte in one day, Eat something more substantial than carbs all day. Sure, real easy to say now! It's today! That was yesterday! So really, what good could that do me this morning? None, I tell you. Instead, I turn to the internet. The following are things that always lift my spirits, make me feel less crabby and more awesome, and sometimes even cause me to "Laugh Out Loud." Check them out:


Shark Attack 3! I found this clip one day when I searched youtube for "giant shark." It's an absolute cinematic masterpiece. Oh, and check out the smug son of a bitch at the very end. BOOM!



"Lord of the Rings Funny Voices." I've never seen any of the Lord of the Rings movies (and for this I believe my brother wants to disown me), but I did come across this video long ago. Emil tells me it's a beautiful scene in which Frodo wakes up after a big battle and, after thinking all of his friends are dead, find out that they actually are not! Bonus fact: I had to google "Elijah Wood Lord of the Rings" to figure out the name "Frodo." Sorry, Emil. Anyhow, check out this alternate version with hilarious voice-overs:



My sister's blog entry on "Naughty Arabic." One beautiful day, Sara and Emil sat in the living room and compiled a list of words that are totally normal in Arabic, but sound dirty in English. I'll say no more - check out this brilliance.


Hobo Names! Here is a list of 700 hobo names. A little something to tickle your fancy and peak your curiosity:
#21: Mr. Wilson Fancypants
#22: Floyd Dangle
#23: Shane Stoopback
#24: Wicked Paul Fourteen-Toes
#25: Normal-Face Olaf
You totally want to click here.


Sexy People! Always good for a laugh. Recently copied by Awkward Family Photos, I prefer Sexy People's more streamlined, focused approach. To laughing at people. Take Ron, for example...

Check it!


If you're not feeling better by now, there's probably something wrong with you. I mean seriously, you've probably got a very serious problem that may be untreatable. Or, you know, maybe we just have different taste in humor. Whatever man. If you still haven't laughed yet, just google "hobo," or look at clips of the Tim and Eric Awesome Show Good Job, or go on youtube and look up "world burping champion" and see what you come up with. And best of luck with your cold, dead, humorless soul. God, how about a smile once in awhile? Jeez....