Wednesday, February 13, 2008

is this your lunch?

so i don't know if this is blog-worthy or not, but i'm still OMGing out loud, so I figure its important enough to post all over the internet.

about 30 minutes ago, i was driving down east washington from the east side towards the capitol. i think i was at a red light somewhere near highway 30 when i looked to my right and saw, inside a black pickup truck, an older gentleman with a white beard and dark sunglasses. in his hand was a bottle of that squeezy butter...the brand was parkay.

i did a double take and started to wonder...maybe he just went grocery shopping and it had fallen out of the bag. oh wait, no...he's opening the bottle! well, maybe (and this was actually my thought process) its some other substance inside this parkay antifreeze. i don't know. that's just what my head thought. yeah! maybe it's antifreeze. oh WAIT, NO! he's putting it on something. oh jesus. he's eating it on something in the car. probably it's popcorn, right? i mean what else could it be? popcorn!

no. it's a saltine. he's putting squeezy parkay butter on a saltine cracker and holding it above his head and dropping it inside his mouth and eating it.

he did it 3 more times before the cars started moving again. i did my best to drive next to him for the rest of my drive, but once he saw me staring, he gunned his engine and cut me off, leaving me in the dust and the mystery of the parkay on the saltine.

grown ass man...


Tara said...

oh my god, i think i might barf a little, why not buy peanut butter? though i have to admit i used that squeezey stuff this weekend when i was at a bbq joint - there were loaves of white bread and bottles of squeeze butter on the tables.

reem tara said...

i know! i felt like i was gagging for a minute. i think he was going for the "portable" or "in-the-car" snack. hence the squeeze bottle. your use of the squeezy butter is FINE. just not in the car, and not on a saltine.