Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Inspired by The Family and Ole Toilet Phone

I write/repost this blog in honor of a couple of things. Number one being the fact that I really need to buy a new phone. I've had Ole Toilet Phone for way too long now, and the buttons are all breaking and the sound is funny and it really doesn't work that well. Plus, it was once in a toilet (read below).

The second reason I write this blog is because I'm sort of obsessed with my family this evening.
Not that you need a reminder or anything (oh yes, those are all individual links)...Tonight my parents, Emil, Mladenka, Laith, Layla, Luai, Lameis, Auntie Vicky and Amu Nabeel, and some extras (I'm sure including Josh, Fontaine, and a few others) were all at a White Sox game together. I received a text from Layla saying that my father had called her - from eight seats down - to ask her if she wanted a margarita. At some point there was some kind of impression of my father, done by the one and only Luai. I still have yet to hear it, but I'm sure I'll document it in some way when the time comes. And finally! I received a text from Laith. There were no words to this text; just one magical, magnificent picture:

And so, with that, I repost my blog from a craptacular day a few years ago when my phone got busted up and my family made everything better. And hilarious.

That was my day, friends. Craptacular indeed.

Lots of stupid shitty things happened to make my day craptacular and to make me an absolute crab all day. No thanks to stupid parents (not mine, the ones I work for) and Begonia barfing in 3 different places (he wanted to be like momma today). But the biggest craptacular thing that happened today involved my sparkling, semi-new, pink cellular telephone. I love that phone. I love making calls on it and waking up to my alarm on it and, especially, playing Jewel Quest on it.

But the thing is, I dropped it again today. And this wasn't your regular run of the mill, "I dropped my phone on the hardwood floor" drop which happens about five times a week. Oh no. I dropped it in water.

Any guesses to what kind of water? Well you're probably right. It was toilet water. In the toilet. It was clean, mind you! I mean, nothing was in there except for water, and I'm sure 8 billion germs, but it was mostly acceptable.

I have never in my life stuck my hand down into a toilet faster than I did today. Like, without a second thought. My hand was fully submersed in the toilet. Where people poop. But I had to get my phone, see?

So it was broken for awhile but I think it works mostly now. For awhile though, the main button that leads to all the "features" didn't work, and neither did the 5 and 6 buttons. Want to know the number to call for repairs? 1-800-331-9656. Its true. I could not call.

Anyhow, I took out the battery and let it dry and all, and turned it back on and it seems to be working okay now but its iffy, so sorry to anybody who tried to reach me tonight. On the plus side, I sent an email out to my family listserve, which involves not only myself, my siblings and parents, but all 10 first cousins, 3 sets of aunts and uncles, and two or three random stragglers on the side. Below is the email I sent, followed by the responses I received within less than 2 hours of sending out the email. I have never felt cooler.

Reem wrote:
Hi family.

I'll keep this short and sweet.

I dropped my phone in the toilet today. The only detail I will give at this time is that the toilet was clean and nothing was in there except for water. Clean, clear water.

Anyhow, my phone is now broken and unreliable so if you try to call me in the next few days it most likely will not work. The five and six buttons are broken, and I can't even play Jewel Quest! Totally stupid.

Anyhow, that's where I'm at. Hopefully I'll talk to you all soon some otherway. Oh and I can't text either.

Mom and Dad I will call you from another phone tonight.

xxoo, Reem

Laith wrote:
You're right...totally stupid. Good luck

Sara wrote:
I recently dropped my phone in the tub at the salon while getting a pedicure. The poor Vietnamese ladies practically screamed and kept yelling at me "Get the SIM! Get the SIM!" Their advice worked- I took the SIM card out and let everything dry out and it works fine now. :)

Layla wrote:
I had the same problem when I dropped my pager in the toilet. All I did was open up every area I could and let it air dry for 2 days...then I popped in a battery and happy happy joy joy..it WORKED AGAIN!!!

Good Luck Reem!

Samer (who is a boy) wrote:
you know, this reminds me of all the times I've dropped so many things in the toilet...bracelets, combs, toothbrushes, and other crap (no pun intended)...but never an electronic device..ill work on that for the awesome experience!

Lameis wrote:
I've dropped it in beer before, it has the same negative effects :)

Emil wrote:
Wow this family is so supportive. let me just add one thing: when were eating at the Brazilian all you can eat meat place, Luai's belt buckle broke off and fell in the urinal

Luai wrote:
Oh yeah I totally remember that, that was hilarious, I couldn't win that day

Oh family, I love you! Thanks for being so hilarious!


Susannah said...

We were at some restaurant once (okay, it was the gay hamburger joint in Cedar Rapids) and were forced to listen to Ryan Seacrest tell some extended dropping-phone-in-toilet tale which ended the same way: yelling "GET THE SIM! GET THE SIM!" and machinations by the assistant to pick it out, etc.

Which wouldn't be so notable, except that the next week there was some big story in the Enquirer about the exact same thing happening to Paula Abdul. JUST WHO IS THE LIAR HERE, HMMMM?

SophisticatedBrew said...

I have nothing to say that isn't obvious. Your family rules. Love it.

btw, my word verification is "ack spac". hee hee.

Sara Ashes said...

oh i love this one!!! wasn't that picture text the most amazing thing ever???

Jake Shut said...

I had one of my phones fall out of a hoodie pocket in a toilet at the High Noon. So I feel your pain and I likewise was stunned how without a second thought I reached my hand into clean (thank fucking god) toilet water. My only ill effects to my telephone machine was that the volume was set on full blast for the rest of its lifespan. It always sort of grossed me out talking into my toilet phone if the thought crossed my mind. I finally lost in a cab drunk in NYC and was sort of relieved when we parted ways.