Sunday, November 30, 2008

Family Story Five: Emil

The sleeping arrangements at my parents' house are not always set in stone. My siblings and I tend to fight over the best bed, which is in the "guest room," formerly my sister's room (this was before she moved into the basement as a teenager...coolest basement EVER! If only I had pictures available). There's something about the bed in that's a cushy, fluffy queen size bed with no less than six pillows at the head. It's absolutely the first choice. The second choice is my old bedroom, which has a full size bed that's sort of comfortable, but squeaks every time you move. You could drop a Q-Tip on there and it would make noise, I swear. The third choice is the twin bed in Emil's old room, which we've since dubbed The United Nations, due to the giant Irish and Iraqi flags hanging above the bed.

Recently my mother put one of those pillow-top fluffy mattress pad things on my bed, which made it much more comfortable. It still squeaks, but it feels more like sleeping on a cloud, which is very nice. For some reason, Sara and I decided to call it "The Maxi Pad," since it kind of reminds us of one. It actually kind of is one, when you think about it...a protective covering...yeah! With The Maxi Pad set in place, we really had no choice but to name the twin bed in Emil's room "The Tampon." I mean, what could we do?

So a few months ago, my sister and I were visiting Chicago at the same time and were about to spend some time with our parents and brother, Emil. We met at a delicious Middle Eastern restaurant and were enjoying a lovely, mature dinner when Sara and I decided to fill in Emil with what we'd been discussing regarding the naming of the beds. There was some confusion along the way...

Me: Emil, we named my bed The Maxi Pad!
Sara: And we named your bed The Tampon!
Emil: Oh man, I totally needed one of those recently.
Sara and I: ....Wait, what?
Emil: I totally needed a maxi pad the other day.
Sara and I: (silence)
Emil: Yeah, I totally wish I'd had some maxi pads...I had the worst pimple ever...


Oh WAIT! Not a maxi pad! A Stridex pad!

Pads. Is there anything not funny about pads? I don't think so.


Luper said...

on thanksgiving i helped lee's dad (leonardo II) set up a flickr account on his new laptop.
i asked him to pick an address for his photos, and he wanted it to end in "Nards."

In the Phillipines, lee's family often shortens names (leonardo to len, lisa to lis). Thus, the name Nards came about.

Anyway, I kept having to say it when explaining the computer info and it was really great.

Reem Tara said...

That's hilarious! I was JUST thinking about my uncle (who's hobby is trains and transportation) and how his daughter, my cousin Susan, was helping him set up an email address. She told him to pick a word that reflected a hobby of ended up being:


Bea said...

Hooray for stories of family members' embarrassing misunderstandings! A certain relative of mine (whom I will mercifully leave anonymous) briefly referred to the singer Dido by slipping another consonant in there... before pink-facedly remarking, "Oh, no, that's not right!"

Valerie said...

hahahahaa!!! dude, my sister's NAME is Maxine, aka Maxi. so yeah. i KNOW how funny pad jokes are!1

Sara Ashes said...

One of the greatest tales of yore ever!