Friday, November 14, 2008

My Shit List

I think I started this list about ten years ago - a couple of items have been removed because as I've grown up, I've learned to try new things. With that, cottage cheese was removed about four years ago. Here is where it stands right now:

The Shit List
1. The Eye Doctor/Eyeballs in General
2. Seafood
3. Tapioca Pudding
4. Duck Duck Goose
5. Phone Sex
6. Going to the Dentist
7. Joann Fabrics (aka Joann Stupids)
8. Harrison's Poultry Farm
9. "Careless Whispers" by Wham!
10. Raw Chicken (I will not dignify this with a link)
11. James Fucking Taylor
12. Great Danes

Feel free to add possible suggestions to the list, or post your own! It's good to have a few running lists in your life, you know. In fact, here is a bonus for all of you:

The List Of Things That Are Hilarious In This Really Specific Way That Only My Siblings And I Understand
1. Shoes thrown over telephone wires
2. Tiny Horses
3. Biting into a hot dog and having the hot dog fly out the other end of the bun
4. A rug rolled up with feet sticking out of it.

I can't explain why, but they're all related. They're just so hilarious...


Cody said...

I think you should reconsider Joann fabrics. At least here in Milwaukee we have a supersized Joann fabrics and it has everything. It has lots of knitting stuff and art supplies and junk to make with children.

Valerie said...

the funniest thing for me is people slipping and falling. if someone slips and falls, i can't NOT laugh.

Sara Ashes said...

FINALLY! I'm glad there's some overlap on our shitlists - numbers 6 and 9 specifically (where's Carrot Top??)

Sorry Cody, but you clearly don't understand Reem's hatred of Joann Stupids to make such a suggestion.

Reem I do think that maybe you should reconsider the Tapioca Pudding- its sorta like Rice Pudding- and though its not great its probably not on the same level as other things on your list.

And finally, the picture that you linked to for the Small Horse is pretty much the greatest thing I've ever seen!!!

Reem Tara said...

Cody, it's unfortunate, but Sara is correct. I hate Joann Stupids SO much...I don't mind Hobby Lobby though, so I'll go there with you sometime...

Sara, Carrot Top doesn't quite make it on my list. Yes, I do kind of hate him, but I'm also a tiny bit fascinated with him (i.e. "What the hell is your problem, Carrot Top?!") so I can't include him. And thank you for appreciated my links. I knew you would!

I did think, however, that the picture I linked to for tapioca pudding would put anybody in their right mind off of it permanently. Go check it!

Mindlab said...

#4 I busted my face open running into a pole playing that stupid duck game in 1st grade. I needed an inside layer and an outside layer of stitches to pull my face back together, the teacher said she could see my skull - but didn't get a picture for me.

Reem Tara said...

See now? Evidence of how absolutely horrible that stupid game is. I can't believe your skull was showing...that might be next on my shit list - the sight of your skull. Or anybody's skull, for that matter. Ugh.

Bea said...

Number 2, AGREED. Actually, I agree with quite a lot of these, it's a good solid list. Eyeballs... have you seen that old surrealist film Le Chien Andalou? Where the first scene is an eyeball being sliced open? The only good thing about that is it inspired the Pixies song Debaser...

Reem Tara said...

Bea, I HATE the idea of that. I actually sometimes have a hard time listening to "Debaser" because of the "slicing up eyeballs" line...I knew it was Chat Andalusia, but have no idea about this movie... probably something I will never ever see...

sarah davis said...

reem--i love your shit list but would like to add a list of my own that has been in existence for five years. since i do a lot of things for myself, i figured i should make a list of things that i will only allow people to do for me and never do myself.

the "i, sarah davis, will never do this" list:
1. make coffee
2. knit
3. download music

sometimes i think about revising them, but i have never done the above three items and drink plenty of coffee, have hand-knit items, and lots of mp3s and burnt CDs, so it looks like these are here to stay.

jx said...

i'm saddened that you did not have a link to a photo of feet sticking out of a rolled-up carpet. who knew it would be so hard to find on google image search.

i have some shit list recommendations...

*spoilers on cars (like big, obnoxious, home-made ones)
*the saying, "cool beans"
*wrap sandwiches

Reem Tara said...

I searched and searched for a picture like that and could not find one! Unbelievable...

I wholeheartedly agree with your list, except I'll totally eat a wrap sandwich once in a great while. I mean, it's NO replacement for a real I guess on the list of sandwich shit lists, wraps would be up there.

Cool beans? Barf-o-matic!