So Far So Good

So I'm sitting here on my last day of my twenties, my face slowly wrinkling, my eyesight going, my memory fading, slowly wasting away. My youth is no more - what will follow is a life of desolate dryness, endless sadness, and white hair. Welcome, thirties.

Wouldn't it blow if I really felt like that? What a jerk I'd be. Thankfully, I'm not a jerk. I am turning thirty tomorrow, and as much as people keep asking me how I'm doing or if I'm "feeling okay" with a concerned tilt of the head, I'm really pretty fine. I usually love my birthday, and I'm hoping that I will love tomorrow. At this point, I just want it to be a good, lovely day, and see my friends. And maybe have a delicious bloody mary at some point. Boom, birthday! BOOM!

So far, I've had a wonderful 30th birthday celebration that began about two weeks ago in Chicago. My parents threw me a beautiful party at the arabic nightclub with my entire family (sadly, minus Emil and Mladenka, who were unbelievably missed), which was incredibly well-documented by my dear sister Sara. It's so hard to choose which pictures to put up because I'm pretty much 100% in love with all of them, even the one that I'm making sorta funny half-closed eyes in. So if you want to see more, check the facebook or let me know!

The party was fantastic. Delicious food, amazing music, great company. A few hours into the night, the belly dancer was performing her second set of dancing. All of a sudden, I realized that Albert, the owner of the club and singer, was singing Happy Birthday in arabic and a lot of people were looking at me. Everything was kind of a blur after that, but I do remember my mother putting a silver glittery tiara on my head with the number 30 in a heart in the front (she knows me so well - silver and glitter!) and the belly dancer standing next to me, and somebody bringing out a giant cake with thirty candles and sparklers (lit!) in the shape of the number 30 on top. Holy eff!


Here's me with an incredibly delicious piece of the cake from the Swedish Bakery. I used to hate it when I was little because they'd put marzipan on the cake. Gross. But now that I'm THIRTY, I like the cake (I still totally wouldn't eat marzipan, but the cake itself was incredible).


Oh, this is just me with the belly dancer on the dance floor. No big deal. And Luai and Samer in the background acting like a bunch of monkeys.


The following night, Sara, my parents and I attended the Chicago Symphony Orchestra's performance of Beethoven's 5th Symphony and his 5th Piano Concerto, which is my absolute all-time favorite piece of music. What a beautiful night...


So that was a wonderful weekend. And since then, I've received some lovely little gifts along the way. Here are some of them:

Um...it's a joke between BFF Sarah and I. I swear. But I probably will read this entire book from cover to cover. I mean, Buns of Cinnamon?? Come on! That's hilarious!


This is a little vase I got from Auntie Hadar, my great aunt who doesn't hear so well. Sara says it's a Ming Vase (pronounced vaz). Fancy!


Hands down, the most hilarious card in the world, from the BFF!


Wait, here's the punchline!


A beautiful, thoughtful, rare gift from my sissy - a key from the movie Coraline, which I'm in love with and have seen twice in 3D. A handful of people who had worked on the movie got these button-keys as gifts, and somebody put two of them on ebay, and my sister snatched them up! My key hangs outside the door to the Lanai...it's sister lives in Atlanta.


Not much to say about this one, except thanks, Larry Sweeney. The man I love to hate and hate to love. Hahaha omg. I'm saying that from now on.


I got this delivered yesterday from my family! It's a flower-cake (you can't eat it, sorry) with a birthday balloon! Beautiful - it's sitting underneath a window in my living room now instead of next to all that Vitamin Water.


This is a hand-carved spoon that Kim brought me from Moscow. The real gift (I'm SO cheesy!) was spending time with her and her fantastic husband, Victor, this week. Yay for old friends!


Another unbelievably thoughtful and beautiful handmade gift from my sister. It's a (working) clock with cardinals - the bird of the 30s - and glitter and beautiful everything.


And yet another handmade from Sara: the charms are supposed to be healing. These ones are a hand and an ear, both of which would certainly use some good energy, what with my sort of busted up body and my dedication to music. This is an amazing, amazing gift.


And here's some more. Good stuff! Can you see the tiara?


And my favorite part of today, specifically: the rainbow that appeared on the ceiling for about 8 minutes and then disappeared as quickly as it came. I have no idea where it came from, what it was reflected off of. I began to look around, but thought better of it and laid on the couch staring at it instead, until it was gone.


30 isn't so bad, is it?

On Her Plate

Sometimes what we know to be normal, everyday things can cause amazement and wonder in those around us.

When I was in sixth or seventh grade, my Iraqi grandparents stayed with us for quite awhile. I remember how they would go on walks in the forest preserve near my parents' house, picking grape leaves to bring home and make into dolma. On one particular afternoon, I brought a friend home with me. We walked through the kitchen, and my friend stopped and stared at the kitchen counter. "What is this?" she asked. I looked around to see grape leaves everywhere, literally covering every flat space in the kitchen, all spread out to dry so that they could later be stuffed with rice and whatever else goes in there (as a teen, I wasn't a fan of dolma). "I don't know, they're making food, I guess," was my mumbled reply. My friend was amazed and in disbelief that these leaves would be all over somebody's kitchen, and that later, we'd be eating some random leaves somebody picked up down the road. All I could think about was what my mom was going to make me if the rest of them were having dolma. Maybe fishsticks? Gross.

I write this story because the memory of this moment was triggered by an art show I attended this evening. On Her Plate, held at The Project Lodge, is a collection of work done by the late Carolyn Gaska. There's a great write up here that explains better than I probably can. The basic story is that Carolyn, who grew up during the Great Depression, made art out of any materials she could get her hands on. She used colorful, disposable plates as her canvas, magazine cuttings as her backgrounds and characters, and quilt batting to make it all stand out. Most of the material was collected by her husband John, but anything that needed to be bought was considered by Carolyn to be a gift. For her birthday and Christmas, she'd ask for magnetic strips any other materials she needed to crate her art. The rest was found or collected.

To say that Carolyn was a prolific artist is an understatement; there seemed to be thousands and thousands of pieces of her art in the gallery, and I knew it was only a small portion of what she created in her life. Gwen and Breena curated this show, and did a wonderful job. The show is up from now until Thursday, March 19th. The Project Lodge is located at 817 E. Johnson St., on the same block as Mildred's, Jewel in the Lotus Yoga, and Sophia's.


I'd had the pleasure of meeting and spending time with Carolyn's husband, John, and her daughter, Deb, earlier in the day as the show was being set up. They were there pretty casually, it seemed, helping hang the art and do what needed to be done. During the opening, however, I felt them both open up a bit. I was so grateful to witness them in this environment, surrounded by their wife's and mother's art, watching strangers take it all in, and even sharing stories about the pieces. It made the whole art show so much more of an experience for me, especially watching John as he practically bounced around the room in his social butterfly role, introducing himself to everybody and talking about his wife's life and work. He told Genia at some point that he was always amazed by his wife. The love and excitement coming out of that man was unbelievable touching and completely contagious. I felt myself smiling every time I looked his way.

The room at The Project Lodge seemed pretty perfect for this art show. The plates Carolyn made all hung on sheets along one wall, and some of her other projects were displayed as well.

Here's the room earlier in the day, when Breena and Gwen were just starting out.






I'm amazed they did it all in just one day! When it was all complete, there was one wall of harder, non-disposable plates and old tv dinner trays.


This is the massive wall, covered by plates. Earlier in the day, Breena gave me the "task" of counting the plates on this wall. I think I counted 392, give or take ten. I also think Breena was very nice to find something for me to do instead of just sitting around being hilarious all the time. Thanks, Breena! Keep in mind, there's maybe three times as many plates in the art space alone, in addition to whatever is still in John's house. That's a lot of plates...


Each plate has a theme and is multi-dimensional.


Sometimes, but not often, there would be a slight repeat in the designs.


Here are some of my favorite individual plates. I bought the green one with the peacock, along with another green plate that has a ballerina on in (not pictured).










Carolyn also created her own magnets. These are made from frozen juice can tops - the ones that are round and really smooth with no sharp edges. Like the plates, each has a character, theme, and is multi-dimensional.


I didn't get to count the magnets, but there were three displays on the wall (Check the picture - they're refrigerator/freezer doors - brilliant!) and a big box of them on the table for people to purchase. In addition to these magnets, I heard John saying that he has a closet full of about fifty more boxes of magnets, all labeled according to the subject of each magnet: dolls, bears, birds...




The last section of the show was really interesting. Carolyn and John made several dolls that were mounted in frames, each doll representing a different country. The reminded me so much of the Madame Alexander dolls my sister and I had when we were little.


Not only did Carolyn make every inch of every outfit by hand, she and John also made these dolls from scratch - they created a cast in the correct shape, made the form of the dolls, painted their tiny faces on...John laughed as he talked about the "test days," before they had the formula correct and arms and head would fall off here and there. "Maybe that's why that one has a scarf on," he quipped, "otherwise its head will fall off."





A few people had asked whether the dolls would be sold and for how much, to which Deb replied, "I don't know...$25?" Gwen, Genia, Linda, and I collectively shook our heads. Gwen suggested a lot more, and Deb said "See, I don't know about these prices and everything! I just know that they were hanging in my bedroom forever."

I thought of the grape leaves then, and how the things we are used to seeing every day in our lives can be new and exciting (and sometimes art!) to other people. Those grape leaves were a beautiful thing to which I never gave a second thought. Later in the evening, Deb thanked us for letting her see her mother's work in a different way. I think that's something to hold to...

Here's John, taking it all in.


Gwen, Deb, John, and Breena at the end of the night.


It's a wonderful art installation that I encourage all of you local Wisconnies to go see, and it was a lovely night. The most beautiful moment, however, was a conversation I must admit to "overhearing," or eavesdropping upon, if you will. John approached Gwen to tell her what a nice job she had done, and I heard him say the following:

This is beyond anything...
I'm not one for saying much, but...somebody up there is happy right now.

Thank you, Carolyn Gaska, for this amazing work!

Update on the Lockjaw: Don't Worry, I'm Even More Hilarious Today

I found an old mouthguard that I was supposed to start wearing like five years ago. Incidentally, I think that was the last time I went to the dentist. Whoops a daisy! Here is an awesome picture of me wearing it:



I keep laughing because it feels funny and I think I look sort of funny. Also, I'll randomly kind of gag on it, then laugh even harder. I'm not sure how this will go...

In other news, I have a dentist appointment on Thursday, which will hopefully help with the whole "jaw not opening all the way" thing. It's still not completely back to normal, and it's been over 48 hours! It's opening a bit more (about two fingers worth, as is the dental terminology), but still not all the way. There's little to no pain, which could be a result of the constant advil I've been taking, and little discomfort. To be honest, it's not terrible. Well, except for, as Sarah pointed out on the phone yesterday, I can't eat sandwiches. To which she replied "that sounds like an emergency to me!"

Tonight, I'll get more massage work from Genia - she did some Sunday night and I think it helped. Tonight I will also sleep with a mouthguard in and try not to gag or laugh my way to sleep. I'll keep you all updated with more awesome, flattering pictures. Thanks for all the nice words and concern, lovelies!

At Least I'm Not Too Crabby To Be Funny

You know what blows? Lockjaw. Every morning, I wake up with my jaw locked a little bit. I can open my mouth so that my teeth are about an inch apart, but in order to open wider, I need to pop my jaw. The locking lasts about thirty seconds to two minutes on most mornings, and I can pop my jaw either by moving my mouth a certain way or pushing slightly on the left side of my face, right in front of my ear, where the lock is happening. It's annoying, but it's never been too big a deal.

About two weeks ago, I woke up and had the lockjaw, as usual. I tried all the regular things, but it didn't go away. I did a little extra massaging with my fingers, tried some relaxation (really difficult for me, especially with the jaw - sometimes I'll think I'm relaxing but I'm not), but nothing worked. It wasn't until after I brushed my teeth with my handy electric toothbrush and did a bit more massaging that it finally popped. It was stiff for the rest of the morning, but at least it popped.

It is now 3:58 pm. I woke up this morning at 10:45 am with the lockjaw. I still have it. My mouth opens, but my teeth will only go about an inch apart, like this:


I've tried a lot of the regular stuff, none of which worked. I did some research online about lockjaw and TMJ, and after getting thoroughly scared, I started looking up "temporary solutions" and found this list:

Put ice on your face for 10 minutes.
Then open as wide as you can for 2 minutes.
Follow this with 10 minutes of hot, moist packs.
Then, massage your jaws and face as deeply as you can without hurting yourself.

I did that, and it hasn't really helped. I did, however, document each step so that you all could get the full effect. Here you go:

This is me icing my jaw.

This is me stretching my jaw open.

This is me, laying down with the heating pad.

This is me, angry and crabby because nothing is working.

This is me trying to read some book for book club tonight, mostly as a means to distract myself from my jaw. That's not working either.

I'm so annoyed. And I know I should have gone to the dentist or to a specialist or something by now, but I haven't, okay? Jeez. Lay off. I am, however, also kind of amused at the range of emotions I've gone through this morning. The regular feelings of having the lockjaw when I first get up slowly shifted into a slight panic. Then I used my awesome dealing-with-anxiety tools to calm myself down. Then I got angry, man! I sort of shoved the bathroom counter really hard, which then made me laugh because, really Reem? The bathroom counter? I almost cried at some point too. I wondered it I should pray. Later on, thinking about this whole situation, I laughed some more.

Finally, I felt some acceptance and went out to breakfast with Lia. See, this is the thing! I was totally able to eat, and it's not that it's terribly painful...it's just that I can't open my mouth all the way. My sister asked me about my levels of pain and discomfort; so far, it's only uncomfortable when I try to open my mouth because, obviously, I can't. I gave it a 4-5 on the Discomfort Chart. The pain, I'm not so sure about. I have a slightly skewed pain tolerance...I'm never sure how bad it "really is," you know? So...what is there left to do, really? I'm thinking I should probably go to the doctor, but only if it's still around tomorrow morning. For now, I'm going to keep laying down and trying to relax. Talking is mostly out of the question at this point because I'm trying to relax completely and not really move my face. So I guess that's that, for now at least...I'm gonna lay on the bed.

Just as an aside, do any of you watch Arrested Development? I've had this one thing in my head all morning...Tobias (David Cross's character), who is notorious for saying some pretty homosexual remarks on accident, says at some point that he'd like to "have a jaw session" with Michael (Jason Bateman). He means he wants to talk with him...I can't stop thinking about it. See, pain and discomfort bring on funny things once in awhile.

Here's Tobias saying funny things (not including "jaw session," but still funny):

Pictures in Lieu of Words

Dudes. Dudes! I have the writer's block. I have no less than five unfinished blogs in my bloggy blogosphere. I'm also restless as of late and my attention span has shortened even more in the last few weeks, so a complete, well-written blog seems far out of reach. Instead, I will give you a little tour of my awesome living room and what has been happening in it over the last few days...

Here's the messy corner. Some day I'm going to put all those cds where they're supposed to go and put all those music books back in the file cabinet, and maybe even dustbust. But for now, I think it's a really good looking corner. An attractive mess.



Some of the cds are in order. Since the big digital television change, I've been listening to a ton of music, and often the entire album - this doesn't happen very often in these ipod days in which we're living. Included: Nothing's Shocking by Jane's Addiction, Mexican Moon by Concrete Blonde (thanks Angie!), Doolittle by the Pixies, Emergency and I by the Dismenberment Plan, and a little bit of Pizzicato Five for dishwashing time!


I'm not sure why this picture made it in, but it did. Here is my delicious lunch from earlier today! That's zucchini with herbes de provence (thanks Sara), tortilla encrusted tilapia (sorry Breena!) which I definitely did not make - it was frozen, and some couscous. Fancy!


Okay, and since 2009 is the year of learning new things (and thusly has, so far, totally ruled), I have learned that I actually can keep flowers alive! I was pretty convinced I couldn't before, but I've been very dedicated about watering and opening the blinds before I go to bed so the flowers can wake up to sunlight way before my 10:30 am wake up call. And it's working! Here are some tulips, in my favorite tulip colors:


Here's an amaryllis my mom gave me. It came in a box. I planted it on Inauguration Day.


And a close up. I came home from work last night, and the flower had bloomed. I actually gasped and said out loud "oh!" when I saw it. Since I took this picture, there is another flower blossoming on the opposite side of this one, along with a separate stem and flower in the same pot.


I can't believe how happy these flowers have made me this week. Seriously, I smile every time I look at them. Daffodils are my first favorite.


Here's a painting I bought at my work's art auction this past weekend. It's a tree, painted by my coworker Julia Ziah. It's the first real piece of art I've bought. I don't know how to hang it. Will you please come over and tell me if it's crooked?


And there's my lovely piano which I've been playing every day and night for a few weeks now.


My heart is extremely full right now, and things are beautiful and good. I like that it can be reflected in my living room. Also, I look like a Lord of the Rings character.


It's my new look! What do you think?