Monday, October 20, 2008

Hearing Voices

I'm sick of the election. I know who I will be voting for, and I've known for months now. I can't watch the debates anymore. The commercials are annoying. I'm done. I wish it was over with. With it working out in favor of the candidate I will be voting for, of course.

I don't know if it's because I'm so sick of it all, or if it's because my brain is trying to find some entertainment or humor in all of this, but something funny is happening. Usually the sight of John McCain makes me squeamish and uncomfortable at best (barfy and terrified at worst), but something hit me during a commercial the other day. It was his voice. All of a sudden he wasn't the frightening Republican presidential candidate I've come to know him as; for some reason, at that moment, I heard him narrating Christmas movies in my head. I don't know why, but that's what happened. Here, try a few out in his voice and see what you think:

A Christmas Carol:
No. Tiny Tim did not die. And Scrooge was like a second father to him. (a faraway look in his eye) He became as good a friend, as good a teacher, and as good a man, as any person could hope to know.

And another:

In fact, a lot of people laughed at him when he changed, but he let them laugh, and didn't pay any attention to it; I think he was smart enough to know that nothing good ever happens in this world that people won't laugh at it -- at first. And that it's better to make people laugh than make them do some other things I can think of. His own heart laughed: and I think that was good enough for him.

Or maybe even something from The Grinch Who Stole Christmas:
And what happened then? Well, in Whoville they say that the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day. And then the true meaning of Christmas came through, and the Grinch found the strength of ten Grinches plus two.

I don't know. I'm not coming up with much right now. Maybe it's just that I can hear his voice in my head saying something about shaking his belly like a bowl full of jelly. I don't know why! But it's taking the edge off slightly, and that actually helps. Now, instead of feeling physically ill when I hear McCain's voice, I feel a stupid little smile creep onto my face as I tilt my head back slightly and soak up the joyful memories of Christmas movies from my childhood, and forget all my political troubles for just a few moments.

Also, just so you know that my brain is being diplomatic, I can also honestly say that when I hear Barack Obama's voice on the television, I frequently assume it's Montel Williams.

Let's hear it for President Williams two weeks from now!


Swoon Queen said...

Ok, so this is interesting... during all of the debates there was something that snagged my memory every time McCain said "We can do it!" or "I know how to do that!" or "We know how to do that!" which he said quite frequently. The fact that it was pretty much the broadest vaguest general-est answer notwithstanding, it just sort of struck me as familiar.

Yesterday Phoebe was reading "One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish" out loud. and I hear her say "We can do it! We know how!" in the exact same intonation Senator McCain employed. Yeah. Red fish, blue fish?! get it? ha.

So now I am kind of obsessed with listening for more Seuss-isms in his rhetoric.

Swoon Queen said...

sorry, I couldn't resist posting the context for all to imagine in John McCain's voice, and in context of this campaign, the next two stanzas are particularly hilarious I think:

"Did you ever fly a kite in bed?
did you ever walk with ten cats on your head?
Did you ever milk this kind of cow?
Well, we can do it. We know how.
If you never did, you should.
These things are fun, and fun is good.

Hello, hello. Are you there?
Hello! I called you up to say hello.
I said Hello.
Can you hear me, Joe?
Oh no, I cannot hear your call.
I cannot hear your call at all.
This is not good, and I know why."

Reem Tara said...

YES! This is exactly what I'm talking about. A lot of nonsense-y words all jumbled together that, for some reason, warm one's heart a bit...

Daniella Maria said...

you both rule

Sara Ashes said...

Reemie, i know its like old news, but did you see Amy Poehler doing the Sarah Palin rap on SNL this week? I SO wished we were watching it together- it was amazing.

Reem Tara said...

I did! I watched it on youtube this morning. Don't worry sissy, we'll be watching plenty of television together soon - the morning after the party, from your bed, eating McDonald's breakfast sammies and taking turns in the bathroom...

Sara Ashes said...

eewwwwwww! I can't wait.

Tara said...

I don't how Mccain's voice can be heartwarming in any way. But now I'm very interested to hear Montell Williams speak and see how much he sounds like Obama!