Wednesday, May 21, 2008

These shoes are $300...let's get em!

I do not, by any means, love shopping. I'm too impatient to wait in line. Browsing makes me bored. In fact, just being in several stores gives me a headache, especially craft store, like Jo-ann Fabrics. I hate Jo-ann Fabrics. I actually call it Jo-ann Stupids. Anyhow, I really have to be in the right mood to shop, and I do best on my own. 

But sometimes...sometimes there will be a day when I can handle it. Actually, I can more than handle it. On some days, I effing rock the shopping. Like today. I've had it in my head for the last two or three weeks that I "need new summer shoes." I don't know where it comes from. Payless commercials, probably. I'm so easily manipulated. But also, my old flip flops are so old and crappy that you can clearly see almost-black footprints on the soles of the lighter colored ones. It's from all the mud I walk through, apparently. I knew I needed new flip flops, in various colors, and maybe something else fancy. I'm totally not that guy, or like, Carrie from Sex and the City, but really. Shoes are hot! Anyhow, today I had about an hour break, and I was teaching out by the mall, so duh...I went shoe shopping.

After today, I've realized that I buy shoes as if I'm binge drinking. I bought 9 new pairs of shoes in less than an hour. Granted, 5 of these were flip flops (4 of which cost $2.50 each). The other four were the cute fancy kinds. But listen! Before you judge...I only spent $55. On 9 pairs of shoes! Come on now, that's an amazing deal! It averages $6 a pair, which equals $3 a shoe. Now that's affordable.


God. Really? Shoes? Sometimes I don't even know who I am anymore. 

In other news...

I have thrice pointed the remote control at the television this evening, trying to turn down the volume, and I've been holding it backwards.

I have not been able to correctly spell the word "beautiful" on the first try for about two weeks.

And know that moment when a person or a name or a picture that once made your heart race and pound now just makes your eyes roll?  Yeah. That's what's happening.


Tara said...

All I have to say is I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you in my life. I await these posts like an addict for his next fix. Phone date tonight, tomorrow? This weekend? I'm around. Now Tom is walking around saying "Shoes. Shoes. Shoes." Thanks.

reem tara said...

Well damn! I'ma have to try and write down my hilarity more often! Check your email re: phone date. I miss the shit outta you.

Sarah L. said...

That is a very fantastic video. I'm glad you did not get $300 shoes.