Friday, May 1, 2009

Busted Up vs. Tricked Out vs. Tightened Up

This is a blog entry I wrote about 16 months ago, when I still wrote mostly on MySpace. I have been thinking about Gary Busey a lot today, for some reason, so I thought I'd repost this blog that is loosely based around him...

I tried to explain to Schabow the other night about "busted up." I came off sounding like a dick. Probably because I was talking about people I know. Which, yes, is shallow and mean. SORRY. God. Whatever. Anyhow, its not as mean if I do it with celebrities, right? Good. So here is how i meant for it to sound:

Sometimes somebody is the busted up somebody else. Like, the busted up person looks like the first person, but maybe a little more raggedy, or like their hair is messy and know? I know it sounds mean, but it really doesn't have to be. Here is an example:

Gary Busey is the busted up Nick Nolte

Nick Nolte

Gary Busey

See? They look alike, but Gary Busey is slightly...well, busted up.

I was talking to Mark tonight, and he mentioned that there should be the possibility of somebody being the "tricked out" somebody else. Like find somebody who is "a natural beauty" and then find somebody who looks like them, but with a shit ton of makeup or giant earrings. Or who has special powers maybe. We couldn't think of any examples at first, but then...

Janice Dickinson

Chynna Doll

To me, it looks like Chynna Doll is the tricked out Janice Dickinson because of all her crazy muscles. Its like you get Janice, but then get all these add-ons, like muscles and a giant neck.

Here's one that I have a hard time with...who's the busted up who in this trio?

Mary Steenbergen

Andie McDowell

Susan Lucci

I mean, in my opinion, they're all busted up. I'd say Andie McDowell is the least busted up (or, as we coined this weekend, the "tightened up"). But that's because I'm biased, because Susan Lucci looks like an animated corpse (not my original thought - sorry!) and Mary Steenbergen, well I don't mind her, but she married Ted Danson! that douchebag!

So. Is that nicer Schabow? It's all for you, my friend. All for you.

I think my writing used to be a lot cruder. Oh, how we grow. I've gone from crude to prude!

JK, dudes, JK.


Tara said...

HAHAHA! I love trying to explain this to people and like you really need the examples, and the Nick Nolte and Gary Busey one is just perfect. I kinda think Susan Lucci is the tightened up Andie McDowell if only because she is Andie McDowell with plastic surgery. I also really hate Andie McDowell for no real reason. She's always so whiney!

Reem Tara said...

See now, I think Andie McDowell is the least busted up in looks, but her acting is some of the most busted up I've ever witnessed.

SophisticatedBrew said...

I don't know who any celebrities are(but I do know Chyna!) but this is still funny. I like "tricked out."