Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Poo. Bird Poo, Specifically.

A bird just pooped on my head. Like right smack dab in the middle, right on top. Oh, I'm serious. I was walking from my car to the front door of my home when I felt something hit me. Or land on me. Either way, I knew it was too heavy to be a raindrop. Maybe it was a bud from a tree? Maybe a tiny acorn thrown from a squirrel? Who knows, right?

Well, I had to know, so I put my fingers up to the top of my head to feel around. I felt something sort of wet, and slowly brought my fingers down to examine. Yep...bird poo. Without thinking that I'd later be documenting this episode, I quickly wiped some of it on the side of the house, so this is all I had left on my fingers when I got to my camera:

Hard to see, I realize, but I guarantee you it's bird poo.

Here is where it landed in my hair - also hard to see, but there's a little bit of white right above the upside-down L that's in my scalp for some reason.

You know the best part? After my first initial thought of "GOD FUCKING DAMMIT," and my second thought of "Okay, I better document this for the bloggo," my third thought was "That's pretty hilarious." I mean, I actually laughed out loud. I don't know man, things are just so hilarious to me right now. What a great life. Full of poo. But great, nonetheless.


SophisticatedBrew said...

Ha ha ha. EW. I'm glad you documented it before washing it. EW. And I like your "L" part.

jx said...

i love this. try to filter your reactions to life events by thinking bloggo first, though. then deal with it second. work on it. i love, "upside-down L that's in my scalp for some reason."

i wonder if it's the bird that eats your lunch meat and egg yolks.

oh, reem.

Emil said...

It's about damn time. The birds are (at least) 2 of 3 when it comes to targeting the Totonchi children. Many, many years ago, one of my friend's moms was driving us home from soccer practice. I was sitting bitch in the back seat (I have to clarify "the back seat" because these were still the days when there was a bitch seat in the front). All of a sudden, someone hit me on the right shoulder. I turned to the person on my right, said something like "What the hell?" He said "what? I didn't do anything." I turned to the person on my left and got the same reaction. I then slowly looked up and noticed the sunroof was open. I then proceeded to look at my shoulder and spotted...you got it...bird poop. The bird shat over the car, it went through the sunroof, and then something physics-based caused it to travel a few feet backwards and hit me on the shoulder. I'm still in awe of that bird's aim.

Reem Tara said...

Emil, I sort of cannot believe your response was "About damn time." Wow. Nevertheless, I am way entertained by your story and cannot believe I've never heard it! I feel like maybe Luai has been pooped on once or twice before? And Sara, did you have one there too?

Jess, I'm sure the bird was just "returning the favor," in that either poo is greatly valued by them as meat and eggs are by humans, OR, to birds, meat and eggs are equivalent to poo for us. Make sense?

Sarah, the L is for Linz. And Love.

Reem Tara said...

Wait, wait. Emil, you're wording is brilliant. "Something physics-based?!" You are awesome.

Katie said...

Ok, so a few weeks ago, I was walking down the street with Joe, and he was like "what's that on your neck?" and I was all like "what? I don't know what you mean" and then I touched my neck and there was POO on it! POO! And on my coat, which I must've leaned against to get it on my neck. And God knows WHOSE poo it was or where it came from. Gross! I like your bird poop because you know it's gross source and don't have to live in wonder, as I am right now.

nicole said...

One day when I was in high school in California, I refused to step out from underneath the awnings during lunch because I had a feeling a bird was gonna poo on me. The bell eventually rang, and I had to step out from the protective shelter to go to class. No sooner did I step out did I feel something wet, warm, and slimy land on my face. This substance then instantly traveled into my MOUTH. It was so sudden and my reaction so violent, that my friend thought I sneezed (I covered my face immediately). When I told her to get me a paper towel from the nearby restroom, she refused because the boy she had a crush on was standing by the bathroom door. Needless to say, I was sad and felt disgusting.

This was before I turned vegetarian.

rohini said...

haha..i love your blog..keep it up!