Monday, March 28, 2011

The High Points

So, guess what. I was really really sick on my birthday this year. It started on the night of my birthday party. I pre-gamed by napping, drinking the ever-disgusting Throat Coat tea, throwing up, taking a really hot bath, laying on the couch under a blanket shivering, throwing up again, and then wearily putting on some really cute glittery shoes. I lasted about 35 minutes at my own party before the wonderful Jess drove me home. Wah wah! Then, the sickness pretty much subsided by the day after my actual birthday. BO-RING, universe!!! Sucks to you! Thanks for nothing! Other slogans!!! I really was bummed because, honestly, I love my birthday and I love having fun birthdays, and this year it just really wasn't an option. Aww, sad.

But!!! Through a combination of a conversation with my sister in which I explained my pre-gaming, and an email from my friend Arvin which said "What's the best thing you did today?" I was inspired to just get past it, let this birthday go, hope for better next year, and, duh, write a blog about it. The subject of the blog? The High Points of my birthday, of course. I mean, that is the title. Come on, guys. Get it together.

Here are some of the great and hilarious things that came about because of my birthday and/or me being sick:
  • When you're insanely congested, you should probably cut dairy out of your diet - it'll help. Well, I've been meaning to try a week or ten days without dairy anyhow to see how I feel, so here you go! I'm on Day Five and, although I know I'm skewed because of being sick, I'm pretty sure I'll be feeling the effects soon! So, thanks, congestion, for getting me started on my temporary non-dairy!
  • When you're sick, sometimes you get delirious. When I received a Happy Birthday text from a friend who also told me his wife is expecting, my intended text back was to read "When is she due?" Instead, I typed "WHen she dUe!" I dunno, that was pretty funny to me.
  • I learned from my mother at an early age that one of the best things to help with a bad headache is to tie a bandana very tight around your head. So I did that. And every time I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I laughed because I looked like such a lesbian. Are you happy, Beloit classmates? Are you happy?! P.S. NO PICTURES of this.
  • I worked a half day on Monday even though I shouldn't have. But, I got to see some of the most hilarious kids. They knew it was my birthday (because their dad saw on facebook) and so they drew me a cake with 1800 or so candles on it. Apparently the dad mentioned that it would be nicer to make the number slightly less, so one of the kids guessed my age and made 20 candles. Aww! (I wish, right gals?! JK) Really though, seeing the kids was the highest point of my birthday. I love 'em.
  • Since I was home early on Monday, I watched Dancing With the Stars, which I never, ever watch. But hey, Ralph Macchio is on it! And he's still a total babe! My mom thinks he's wearing a rug, though. I'm going to investigate a bit.
  • The moment I felt well enough to jot down notes for a new blog entry was a definite high point. And, subsequently, the fact that I'm getting in my four blogs per month goal by writing this one. BOOM, universe! Again!
  • When you are sick and have zero appetite, sometimes good friends like the lovely Genia bring you the only food that you could even imagine eating. Like Pho (yep, pronounced "fuh," Sarah) from Ha Long Bay and a nice, easy Sprite. So delicious. Thanks Genia!

  • But then, oh man, when you get a slight appetite back, you make yourself a damn peanut butter and jam, and it's the best tasting peanut butter and jam in the entire stupid world. So delicious!

  • The Birthday Table! Oh, have you not heard of the birthday table? I'm so sorry. It's where you put up all your birthday cards, dude! Here is an example of my sister's Birthday Table from Atlanta, 2009:
And two classy ladies on display along with the table!

So, here's my Birthday Table. Every time I see it, it makes me happy:

Balloons and flower-cake complements of my parents, who met me in Milwaukee on Saturday before my famous pre-game and all that barf. Love!

  • And then, at the end of it all when you really get your appetite back, you can have a little adventure with this magnificent gift, again from Genia! Also, you may still be a little delirious at this point, so you may laugh way harder at this than others. Just sayin'.

Aww, thanks Genia! And thanks, High Points! And thanks, everybody else who is so wonderful and awesome and made these days passable! I'll totally remember this birthday forever. It can never be all bad. Ever.


Tara said...

I do not understand what is happening with those eggs at all. Are you dipping bread in a hard boiled egg?

Reem Tara said...

It's a soft boiled egg! It's like having an egg over easy, but still in it's shell. I'm dipping the bread (cut in the shape of "soldiers") in that!

jx said...

You're immaculate with grammar, even in texting. Did I ever tell you I feel insecure when I text you because I don't want you to think I'm as dumb as I appear when I shorten words? OMG, I do. Every time, I want to text at the end, "n i kno im abrv8tng wrds, misplng em, n skipng punct, but its fastr." Just know this and believe it, okay?

Your birthday sounds pretty damn nice. Can't keep YOU down, Reem!

Genia the Queenia said...

Reem! I'm so glad to see you are already using the egg cups! Actually, the 1st picture made me laugh too...have no idea why either. Now all we need is a photo of you in that lovely dress apron!

SophisticatedBrew said...

HA HA HA HA HA HA. lesbian bandana.

Andrea said...

Hilarrrrrrrrrrious. I thought for SURE you were going to say that as you looked into the mirror with the bandanna, you thought you looked like a thug. But NOPE you went straight for the lesbian comment. I love it how you went there.