Friday, March 25, 2011

Thank You Note in Blog Form any of you know my friend Lia? Holy crap. If you don't, you're missing out. Lia was my partner in crime in several hilarious Madison adventures when she lived here. For starters, she was my synchronized swimming partner in the summer of '05; we practiced in secret - in Lake Monona - to choreograph and learn a synchronized swimming routine to the song "Simply the Best" by Tina Turner. For reals. It included headstands under water! We were so awesome. We invited all our friends and prepared a picnic, and performed our routine pretty wonderfully, if you ask me. Here's the adorable invitation that Lia made (and found recently, and texted to me!):

Another favorite Lia-based adventure was when we were in a French Dip Club with her boyfriend, Elsworth. We'd go to a restaurant, each order a French Dip sandwich (sometimes with fries, sometimes with a side salad), and then rate them. We'd all take a few minutes of silence to write our notes, then discuss and compare our results. We included the price, size, and gave it a grade at the end. I guess we were pretty serious about it. Here's another picture Lia sent me the other day - it's her notes from one of our French Dip meetings:

And, Lia doesn't know this yet, but I also recently found my notes from French Dip Club! Here you go:

Yeah, she also has much nicer writing than I do. She's pretty great.

One of my favorite things about Lia is this one game we play. We play when we're together, over the phone, via text; it's really a game we can play anywhere at any time. The one thing is: You must be familiar with the Ani Difranco catalog. Yep. I said it. I'm outing the two of us. Lia and I both had a very long and extensive Ani Difranco phase. The game, in short, is this: Integrate any Ani Difranco song title into every day conversation. Sounds easy, eh? Well, it is very easy if you're boring. But Lia and I, we're not boring. We're awesome and creative, so the game can be a bit more challenging at times. Here are some of my favorites (this probably won't be funny unless you know Ani well. So, get ready Tara, BFF Sarah, and my sister, and probably nobody else!):

Several game plays have taken place on facebook. Here are some examples:

  • Wow, I almost missed that one! I definitely had a few eating superheros at my Thanksgiving dinner. They were pretty shameless. By the way, we nearly hit rush hour when we were on our way to my cousins' house. It was a close one, but I guess you end up living some days imperfectly. A few other families joined us at dinner; one mom was there with two little girls. They wanted me to do their nails, but I told them they were cute as is. Also, we played this game on the Wii called Just Dance in which you have to anticipate dance moves - super fun. Even my parents played, which is really out of habit for them! Anyhow, all and all, it was a great celebration of gratitude, and I'm happy to be the joyful girl that I am.
    Sincerely, Fanny.
    November 26, 2010 at 10:09am · ·
  • I got on my wii fit this morning after a delicious Thanksgiving meal yesterday. The results were not good. You don't know how sorry I am about my meal choices.
    November 26, 2010 at 9:21am · ·
  • Well. Done. I'm not even worthy of you.
    November 16, 2010 at 11:28pm · ·
  • I just wanted to let you know I made it home. The plane was delayed due to a fuel issue. But luckily it was resolved and we were able to take off a few hours late. It is so nice to be back in DC! When I got in I really felt like I had my hand on the pulse of the city. I can't wait to see you again this weekend! Again, I want to extend my gratitude to you for letting me stay with you!
    November 16, 2010 at 8:39pm · ·

Um, yeah. We're pretty great. Here are some examples of our awesomeness that came out in person:

Lia: Hey, Reem. I've been taking swimming lessons, and I think I'm getting really good at this one move...a Swan Dive!

Reem: Lia, do you like food?
Lia: Yes.
Reem: Do you like pizza?
Lia: Yes.
Reem: Do you like a certain kind of pizza from Chicago?
Lia, Oh, you must be talking about Deep Dish pizza!

Lia: Hey, Reem! Did you hear Ani Difranco had a baby? I wonder how it went when she had to Dilate.
Reem: Yeah, I heard about that. I wonder if she'll use Both Hands to hold her baby?
Lia: Probably. Maybe some day she'll have another baby, and then she'll have Two Little Girls.
Reem: Yeah, and maybe her daughter will have long hair, and Ani will be Fixing Her Hair, you know?
Lia: I bet she will! And I bet she's got a lot of baby supplies and will bring them on tour with her. You know, Cradle and All.

Sometimes Lia will start talking and I won't even realize she's playing the game:
Lia: Hey Reem, do you ever go into that Felly's Flowers on Regent St.?
Reem: No, not really. Hey, are you hungry?
Lia: I was just wondering if you ever went in there.
Reem: No, Lia. I said I didn't. So, where do you want to go for lunch?
Lia: Well, if I could just refer to that Felly's Flowers once more...
Reem: Dude, I said I've never been.
Lia: ...because I was once in there and I saw This Bouquet...
Reem: .....OHHHH!!!

But my favorites are the ones that have a very long pre-story to them:
Lia: Hey Reem. You know how there are those cops on horses?
Reem: Yes Lia, I know about those.
Lia: Well, I was just thinking about how they have a little more flexibility in their movement, like, especially as compared to cops who drive cars.
Reem: Oh really? How do you mean?
Lia: Well, cops in cars can really only drive in the street, you know? Whereas cops on horses can really go on any sort of terrain in any area. Like...they could go between Buildings and Bridges, you know?

There were also some references to the song "Pale Purple," but I don't want to talk about that because I think it's gross. Look, it's about nipples. Ugh.

Oh Lia. You slay me. One of my favorite Ani-related moments with Lia was driving around Madison on her last visit and listening to the song "Both Hands." Come on man, it's really beautiful. Don't hate. We decided that it would be hilarious to act out the lyrics, like to hold up a telephone when she sings "listening to the low moan of the dial tone again" and then to write graffiti on an arm when she sings "I am writing graffiti on your body." You know, hilarious! Well, as we were talking about this and laughing hysterically, I had a brilliant idea. I was going to do it. I would map out the song and take pictures of myself doing everything in the lyrics and put it into a slideshow for Lia for her birthday. It was pretty much the best idea ever, and I couldn't wait! I was also excited that I had a ton of time to execute this amazing project and do a thorough and wonderful job on it. Wooo, so excited! Lia is going to LOVE this birthday present!

Well, guess what. Lia's birthday isn't until September 5th.But you know when mine is? March 28th. That's in 3 days. And so, guess who beat me to the punch? That's right: the one and only LIA.

I came home tonight to a large package at my door. Inside it was a lovely card, a nice gift certificate, and a photo album. I think I knew what it was before I even opened it. "Oh no!" I exclaimed out loud, a smile on my face and a flip in my stomach. "She did it." And she did! Look at this genius. Look at what Lia did:

I am walking out in the rain

And I am listening to the low moan of the dial tone again.

And I am getting Nowhere with you

I am writing graffiti on your body

I'm recording our history (haha "herstory") now on the bedroom wall, and when we leave the landlord will come and paint over it all.

And in each other's shadow we grew less and less tall

I am drawing the story of how hard we tried (how cute is this? Also, it actually happened about 6 years ago - true story)

Both Hands.

Okay, Lia. Alright. You win for the best Ani reference of all time. This gets you like a zillion points in any Ani game. I seriously cannot believe you did this, and I am forever thankful to you. My Gratitude for you knows no end. I'll just have to offer you a Rain Check on your birthday gift, I guess. Next time I'll have to Anticipate better. But really, this gift was better than 32 Flavors of ice cream. You have truly made me a Joyful Girl on my birthday. Sorry I Am going on and on about it; I'm just really Shameless about my love for you.

Okay, I'll stop. But I'm telling you, it's pretty difficult. Thank you, Lia!!!


Tara said...

bahahahahahah awesome. y'all rule. i'm impressed with the more obscure ani references. also, i got them all thank you very much. nerd alert.

Reem Tara said...

Oh my god Tara, of COURSE you get the references! You're the original Righteous Babe 19! I'm going back and adding your name to the blog!

SophisticatedBrew said...

Ha ha. I love the pictures. Well done Reem and Lia!

Project said...

GENIUS. I really feel like sharing this with a friend-- would that weird you out, Reem?

Reem Tara said...

@Project, I'd be honored! Who are you? =)

Swoon Queen said...

ooops: Project was me, Bessie, signed into the wrong Gmail account :)

Tara said...

HAHAHA I can't believe you remember that Righteousbabe19 HAHAHAHAHA thanks for that!