Take That, Delicious Food!

Have you all heard of this blog called Delicious Food? It started on MySpace a few years ago with a slightly pompous and very condescending individual taking pictures of food and interjecting a personal opinion upon each picture and each food item. Now it is an outside blog via blogspot, and the attitude and jackassery continue. Although Delicious Food (I refer to the author of this blog as Delicious Food because I have absolutely no idea who the person behind it is!) can be a pretty giant jerk sometimes, I've always admired and appreciated those pictures and hilarious, sharp blog entries.

After each new entry, I always feel inspired to find some delicious food myself. To be honest, I usually buy it or find somebody else to make it. I know some pretty damn good cooks out there, I tell you. Occasionally, though, I'll give it a try, but the results have been...mixed. Like the one time I made fake everything and it was sort of gross. I've been somewhat doubtful about my cooking abilities in the past, but man, I'm trying now. I've been doing better, especially in the last year, and I'ma keep trying.

I can't go much further, however, without throwing some credit to my most recent houseguest. Last week, I had the pleasure of some beautiful and wonderful company and some of the most delicious food I've had in my entire life. And you know what? I've had some damn good food in my life. But dudes, this food...it was insane. My kitchen was transformed into something completely new; I don't think it will ever be the same. Amazing things happened in there. And so I got inspired. Which is funny, because, of all the ways this man has inspired me, the last thing I ever thought I'd take action on would be cooking. Nevertheless, here were are. Thank you, Christopher. Much respect.





Alright, alright, here we go. When I was in Atlanta for my sister's birthday last month, we dined at a lovely restaurant called Solstice where we ate butternut squash ravioli in a sage brown butter sauce. Omg. Seriously, omg. It was so good, and I've had a taste for it ever since. And thanks to both the inspiration from last week, along with the wonders of the internet, I decided to try. Look what happened:

The ingredients for the sauce: chicken broth, butter, and sage leaves, fresh from Jess's garden!

Pumpkin tortellini. I did not make this, but it is from RP's Pasta here in Madison. Fresh and local, and comes in a package! Fantastic!

That's just some butter melting in a pan. It makes me feel sort of funny that there's so much butter in there, but...whatever. Not funny enough to not eat it.

The butter completely melted a couple of minutes later.

Once it started to turn brown, I added the chicken broth and sage leaves. If only I could take a picture of a smell...

You can see the brown color in this one. Hence, "Brown Butter." Get it?!

This is a very complicated process called "boiling the pasta." Extremely complicated.

But I made it work! Whew!

I also decided to roast some brussel sprouts - olive oil, salt and pepper.

Oh damn, there it is, all finished! So delicious, and totally easy.

Although it wasn't the same as what my sister and I ate, it was really delicious and extremely satisfying to have made myself! It's funny to learn brand new things when you're thirty, but whatever. This all rules. Hell yeah, thirty!

I Love the Internet

The internet is so awesome, man. There's this thing you can put on your blog to see how people arrive on your blog; it shows the city they're in, what website they arrived from, and, if they searched for something, what the search terms were. I've been watching it for a few months now and copying some of the more hilarious ones. Some of them make sense, but others...what the eff? Why do at least two people a day, usually in Europe, search for "Famous Busted?" Anyhow, enjoy:

San Francisco, California arrived from google.com on "this is how i will get famous: Snow Day #1" by searching for "Famous gross snow"

Newport Beach, California arrived from google.com on "this is how i will get famous: Tis The Season! Gay Apparel! Deck the Halls with Gasoline!" by searching for gay apparel long beach.

Lynchburg, Virginia arrived from google.com on "this is how i will get famous: So Stupid...and So Worth It" by searching for harold and maude analysis stupid.

Miami, Florida arrived from google.com on "this is how i will get famous" by searching for Thank you, Luis. I will get this processed this afternoon..

United States arrived from google.com on "this is how i will get famous: Tis The Season! Gay Apparel! Deck the Halls with Gasoline!" by searching for michael mcdonald's deck the hall son.

Camarillo, California arrived from google.com on "this is how i will get famous: How To Make Your Own Spring Break! Part One: The Road Trip" by searching for how to make your profile so awesome that your friends will get so jelous.

Stony Brook, New York arrived from google.com on "this is how i will get famous: July 2009" by searching for Andrew Feliciano.

Dallas, Texas arrived from google.com on "this is how i will get famous: Weenus?" by searching for WENUS weekly estimated.

Euless, Texas arrived from google.com on "this is how i will get famous: The Inevitable Family Tendencies - Part One: Meat and Television." by searching for eating meat is inevitable.

Kent, Washington arrived from search.conduit.com on "this is how i will get famous: Busted Up vs. Tricked Out vs. Tightened Up" by searching for famousbusted.

Meriden, Connecticut arrived from search.yahoo.com on "this is how i will get famous: A Wave + A Hug = Broken Ribs" by searching for how to move bedridden person with broken ribs.

Jackson, Mississippi arrived from google.com on "this is how i will get famous: STYX and Larry Sweeney - One Magical Night" by searching for why dont they play mr roboto in a styx concert anymore.

New Haven, Connecticut arrived from google.com on "this is how i will get famous: Xiao and Tell" by searching for "xiao and tell".

Memphis, Tennessee arrived from google.com on "this is how i will get famous: Busted Up vs. Tricked Out vs. Tightened Up" by searching for busted up, raggedy cars.

Wroclaw, Dolnoslaskie arrived from google.com on "this is how i will get famous: Tis The Season! Gay Apparel! Deck the Halls with Gasoline!" by searching for TIS ALL Gay.

Madison, Wisconsin arrived from google.com on "this is how i will get famous: Tis The Season! Gay Apparel! Deck the Halls with Gasoline!" by searching for gays at olin park madison wi.

Soyaux, Poitou-Charentes arrived from google.fr on "this is how i will get famous: Happy Love Day!" by searching for happy love days mu.

Tampa, Florida arrived from google.com on "this is how i will get famous: Happy (Sexy) Halloween!" by searching for last minute sexy detective costume.
18:16:31 -- 1 hour 41 mins ago

Madison, Wisconsin arrived from google.com on "this is how i will get famous: Happy (Sexy) Halloween!" by searching for last minute sexy detective costume.
18:06:53 -- 1 hour 51 mins ago

Templeton, California arrived from google.com on "this is how i will get famous: Happy (Sexy) Halloween!" by searching for last minute sexy detective costume.

Madison, Wisconsin arrived from google.com on "this is how i will get famous: Happy (Sexy) Halloween!" by searching for madison sexy halloween.

Atlanta, Georgia arrived from google.com on "this is how i will get famous: Happy (Sexy) Halloween!" by searching for weenus sexy ghostbuster whoops a daisy. (Okay, to be honest, this was my sister and she did it on purpose just so it would show up. That magnificent bastard!)

Fresno, California arrived from google.com on "this is how i will get famous" by searching for DO FAMOUS PEOPLE GET FAMOUS BY MAKING A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL.

Portland, Oregon arrived from blogsearch.google.com on "this is how i will get famous: Happy (Sexy) Halloween!" by searching for me as a sexy nurse on halloween.

Los Angeles, California arrived from google.com on "this is how i will get famous" by searching for "this is my friend" cat ass tattoo blogspot.

Bozeman, Montana arrived from google.com on "this is how i will get famous: Happy (Sexy) Halloween!" by searching for bored sexy food cool happy .

Jonesboro, Arkansas arrived from google.com on "this is how i will get famous: Tis The Season! Gay Apparel! Deck the Halls with Gasoline!" by searching for gay first christmas together ornament.


And a few bonus tracks from the Dream Blog, the One Second Time Machine

Zagreb, Grad Zagreb arrived from google.hr on "One Second Time Machine: Nursing School, Sex, Hairy Toes, Oh my!" by searching for hairy school sex.

Barrie, Ontario arrived from google.com on "One Second Time Machine: How To Put On A Bathing Suit" by searching for how to put on a bathing suit.

Modesto, California arrived from google.com on "One Second Time Machine: Nursing School, Sex, Hairy Toes, Oh my!" by searching for my girlfriend has hairy toes.

Antalya arrived from google.com.tr on "One Second Time Machine: Nursing School, Sex, Hairy Toes, Oh my!" by searching for oh hairy sex.

Melbourne, Victoria arrived from google.com.au on "One Second Time Machine: Hash Browns" by searching for hash brown machine.

This is Not a Review of Carmen

So...I went to the opera tonight. A couple of my students were in the chorus of the opera Carmen, which is being performed by the Madison Opera this weekend, so I went to see it. I've never been to an opera in Madison before, and this would have been the perfect opportunity to write a nice pleasant blog about my experience. But no. I just can't do that. Because this is mostly what I was thinking about during those three and a half hours...

One of the most well-known songs from Carmen is Toreador. Here's how it really sounds (main melody begins around 1:20):



I, of course, can't help but think of the Three Stooges version:

Toreador-ah
Don't spit on the floor
Use the cuspidor
That's what its for

I mean, how do you not think of that? It's so catchy!

One of the other very well-known songs from Carmen is the Habanera aria that is sung by Carmen herself. Check out Maria Callas singing it. It is stunning:



But...okay, has anybody seen that Bertolli commercial? You know..."I make-a lasagna, I take all day!" It was really hard not to laugh. Oh god...check it:



Also, every single person in the audience is so noisy! Everybody waits until there's a break between songs and they all clear their throats relentlessly, cough, shuffle papers around, open the crinkly wrappers of the sweets from their purses...it's a ridiculous cacophony of unnecessary noise. It reminds me of this Family Guy clip that makes me cringe and crack up at the same time:



Oh man. I am just not mature enough to go to the opera. Okay, I totally enjoyed it. But if you're interested in actually hearing how it was, check out Maddie at Dane101 or Emily at The Lost Albatross, both of whom were live blogging at the opera. Very cool idea...and very hilarious to see a table full of bloggers and laptops in the lobby of the Overture Center. I hope it catches on!

Okay. I'll leave you with this lovely interpretation of Habanera. Fantastic.