Okay, so you know how on facebook everybody is picking their top five blah blah blahs? If you're not on facebook or don't know what I'm talking about, it's basically this application you add to allow to you make top five lists of random categories and post them on your profile. Here are some examples:
Top Five People You'd Like On Your Side In A Bar Fight
Top Five People You'd Like To Hit With A Shovel
Top Five Favorite Trees To Sit Under
Top Five Cars You Want In Your Garage
Top Five Bands I Have Seen Live
And such and such. I have always been a fan of top five lists, and I think these are pretty hilarious. I haven't added the application so I can't do it on facebook - I got sick of adding applications awhile ago and don't really do it anymore. So I thought, what the hell, why don't I make my own Top Five Lists?
And so here you go.
Top Five Things I've Thrown Off The Lanai
1. Meat from sandwiches that I changed my mind about after having ordered
2. Egg yolks
3. Ice cubes
4. Snow
5. Booze (this was more like "dumping" but I think it still counts)
Top Five Celebrities Who I Should Obviously Date Because We'd Be Perfect Together
1. Jack Black in real life
2. JB from The Pick of Destiny
3. Conan O'Brien
4. Domenic Sandoval from So You Think You Can Dance, aka D-Trix from America's Best Dance Crew
5. Jack Black. I cannot stress this enough
Top Five Things That Are Stuffed In That Closet Over There That I Never Use
1. Ironing board
2. Vacuum Cleaner
3. Iron
4. Paper shredder
5. All that stuff in that drawer - dudes, I don't even want to open it. Sorry
Top Five Sports Teams/Individuals I Don't Give An Eff About
1. Most of them
2. Teams that aren't from Chicago
3. Probably all football teams (okay, not the Bears, especially after the Super Bowl Shuffle)
4. Anybody having anything to do with golf
5. People who aren't Shaquille O'Neal, aka (according to my parents) The Gentle Giant
Top Five Favorite Sandwiches That You Don't Make At Home (But Theoretically Could)
1. Americanne from Captain Nemo's (the ham will probably get picked out, and possibly thrown off the lanai)
2. #12 Beach Club from Jimmy John's (turkey, cheese, avocado, veggies)
3. #12 Californian from Milio's (almost identical to the Jimmy John's one)
4. Grilled havarti, tomato, avocado (no onion!) from Lazy Jane's in Madison
5. Obreros from Mildred's in Madison (Roast beef, turkey breast, provolone, swiss, cucumbers and lettuce with mayonnaise and dressing on whole wheat pita)
Top Five Animals I Would Be
1. Sea Otter
2. Monkey
3. Elephant
4. Dog - probably a Welch Corgie because, damn.
5. Sea Otter again. I don't think you realize how badly I want to be a sea otter. Just as bad as I want to date Jack Black
You got any you want to add? There can always be a Part Two!
Bourbon Barrel Series - Rochester Mills
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My wife picked up this 4 pack of a limited-release bourbon barrel aged
versions of some of the standard beers from Rochester Mills in Auburn
Hills, MI. Sh...
7 years ago
8 comments:
I am so with you on Jack Black and the Sea Otter. Although I always thought I'd be more of a river otter but we could meet up in an estuary and trade clam shells.
Lauren, you're on! I'll see ye in the drink!
why do you throw egg yolks and meat off the lanai? i don't understand. do you have a garbage or garbage disposal? i know you have a toilet at least. you might be kind of a gross upstairs-neighbor.
that lazy jane's sammy is delicious. it was mentioned in my aught-seven birthday blog: http://tinyurl.com/db23we
YES!!!! ok ok here I go:
Top Five Places Reem would hate to be
1. A James Taylor Convention
2. JoAnn Fabrics
3. The Sea Ranch (a fish "butcher" in the Chicago suburbs)
4. Harrison's Poultry Store
5. The Lasik Eye Surgery Center
Top Five things Reem would take bets to win:
1. any amount of money over $4
2. someone to dye her hair, then wash out the dye over the kitchen sink
3. anything that gained its fame from an informercial. well almost anything.
4. a delicious sandwich, perhaps one of the 5 listed above
5. some opportunity for theloser to make an ass of themselves.
And on that note, I would ask you Reem to tell us what the five best bets you won were?!?
SARA! Well done! I'm copying and pasting your comment into my blog, and I'll respond accordingly. Check it soon!
Oh, and Jess, I throw them off the lanai because I don't like throwing away food, and animals eat it. I looked up whether or not animals et egg yolks, and apparently birds and squirrels do, so it's fine. Thanks for the "gross upstairs neighbor" comment though!
You know what? Screw it, Sara, I'll make a Part Two!
yeah you'd better make a part 2. i'm waiting!
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